Glassy Sky

You're my tear, You're my fear

Goodbyes - the thing I hate the most in life.

I'm the kind of person who gives my everything to and for the people I care about.

My biggest fear has always been of being forgotten; 

of being thrown away like a dirty pair of socks.

And that is the one thing I have faced the most in my life.

The people I thought would be in my forever all left me behind.

They moved on and left me in the past.

I stayed stuck there wondering who I was without them.

What could I do? Where was my place?

I was stuck. I was lost. I had only my tears and regrets and memories.

But life moves on. It doesn't wait for you.

It doesn't pause, not even just a minute to allow you to accept your loss.

So what could I do?

In that moment, God, I could only rely on You to find who I was.

I could only seek comfort in You when my heart was lost and wandering.

You helped me pick myself up again and discover and love myself.

That day when my dearest friend lost her mother, but she was miles away from me.

I thought I had left all that behind, but I felt her pain as though I was her.

And as though she were right here close to me.

But she didn't even need my comfort, because she had moved on from me.

My heart was torn in two and trampled upon.

My world was turned upside down. The pain was real and raw.

I had been long forgotten. All the effort I had ever made was just a memory in the past.

"It feels like another lifetime" they say.

So what can I do?

God when I felt like I couldn't breath for the pain crushed me, only You could lift up my head.

Only You could give me a reason to keep living and moving.

You breathed life in my heart and told me I was worth it.

Even if they didn't see, You saw.

When he promised me that he would never leave me alone.

And he told me that he wanted to deal with all my complexity.

But then cut me out of his life from one day to the next.

Were we not first friends before all this started?

Had I not told you my biggest fear?

You told me you couldn't live in a world without me, but then forced yourself to forget me.

I live with the biggest burden of all- I never forget.

I never forgot all the good times and all the fun.

All the crazy moments where we laughed till we cried.

I never forgot the moments when we cried because of the hardships we faced or the heartbreaks we experienced.

I never forgot all the decisions we made together, to live forever in this way.

I never forgot all the things you told me.

But you ? Have you forgotten?

God when all this goes down, I can only count on your love.

When I feel like I'm being torn, I can only find myself in You.

They left me and forgot me but You never did.

So today I might cry all the tears I have in my body, because it's hard to accept the loss.

But tomorrow I'll rise up again and move on because You helped me to leave things in the past.