Right Behind You

Chapter Forty: Sacrifices

"And I'm convinced

I made sacrifices, I been ballin' ever since

We seein' so many blessings, shit don't make no sense

Someone watchin' over us, so shout goes out to Him

Yeah, I'm convinced

I made sacrifices, I been ballin' ever since

Yeah, I did some wrong, I had no choice in my defense

Someone watchin' over us, so shout goes out to—."

-Drake ft. 2 Chainz, Young Thug (Sacrifices)

Kae:

I sat across from the director patiently as she sat there staring at me intently. We hadn't said anything for almost five minutes, was she studying me? I don't know. I wasn't even sure if I cared. I was sleepy and hungry, I honestly could take a rest on the floor right now at this point.

The director sat up from her chair and placed her hands under her chin, "We're overdue for a chat, Riny." She finally spoke. I arched my eyebrow as I kept my gaze on her, today she wore a light-yellow headscarf over her head. It complemented her well, if one didn't know the director was the leader of a grand militia who prided herself in creating a group of top women trained to complete the mission, you would have thought she was the nicest woman in the world.

I guess to a degree she was when she wanted to be.

"I didn't know we were even scheduled to have a talk," I said to her seriously.

She scoffed lightly, "I find myself quite busy running this organization Riny and training you girls does take most if not the entire day, but I'm glad we can have a calm sit down and speak. Last time we were like this you were in a psych ward." She reminded me.

I nodded, that felt like such a long time. "I am still thankful for you getting me out of there," I said to her. She nodded waving her hand in her face idle, "I told you I don't care so much for the graciousness, your work here.... your success is what satisfies me." She stated.

I took a deep breath. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I questioned her.

The director leaned back against her chair swinging slightly as she pulled her eyes away from me and onto the wall. "Trauma." She stated.

"Trauma?" I inquired curiously.

She nodded, "Yes... the thing that brought us together to begin with. If you weren't suffering would you have brought yourself to San Antonio, then to the training center, then to the women's group?" She question, but I knew it was a rhetorical question.

I still shook my head.

"Let me tell you a little something about trauma, Riny... it isn't something that's ever going to leave you. Contrary to popular belief it isn't just going to one day magically disappear. You can go to as many therapy sessions as you want and yes, it may help but the trauma still remains. They can force pills down your throat to numb you and trick you into believing you're all better but again, that too is a lie." She leaned forward on her desk, "Even my unorthodox ways of breaking you ladies down may or may not work, even I can admit that..." She pursed her lips and smiled softly.