Companion of Death - A Doctor Who Fanfiction (Thasmin)

Epilogue: Coming to Terms

It had been close to an hour since the Doctor had regenerated, and nobody had said anything more. It was hard to say who was taking it worse. Yaz snapped at everybody if we dared say anything about the Doctor. Ashildr had gone off without anybody noticing because we were all so distracted. Missy was brooding silently, ignoring even me. I was trying to redecorate the TARDIS, but she wasn't letting me.

I finally gave up and left the control room, kicking at a giant golden crystal on my way out. It was my fault everybody was like this. If I hadn't needed to get revenge, or if I had killed that last senator, he would not have fired that arrow. He had been aiming at me; why did the Doctor have to take it? More people cared about her than me.

If I had regenerated, Yaz wouldn't give it a second thought and I doubted the Doctor would, either. She was a Time Lady. She was used to regeneration. That was what her people did when they faced death. And she had caused me to regenerate so many times. Ashildr wouldn't even notice if I regenerated. I'd still have the same hazel eyes, and that was all that mattered. The eyes were the windows to the soul; the face only served to conceal it. I don't know how Missy would react to me regenerating.

"Just don't put yourself into a position that you could die," Missy ordered, her Scottish accent coming out strongly in her words.

"Was I muttering under my breath again?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Yes," Missy replied. "You can't think that way, Oswin. Don't trash-talk yourself."

"I'm rubbing off on you," I smirked. "You said 'trash-talk'."

Missy shrugged. "I've been all over," she said.

We continued walking down the hallway and got to a point where Australian-accented mutterings were coming through the wall.

"That would be the wardrobe," Missy surmised, "and the Doctor is finding all the outfits previous versions of her wore. They've always been like that – think whatever they're wearing is the height of fashion, and then are horrified to see it after they regenerate. It's sort of amusing."

I smirked at the thought. The Doctor's clothes had been ridiculous, and her reaction to seeing them after her regeneration was comical. I looked forward to seeing what she chose this time around. We could all use a laugh.

"You know what I've noticed?" I asked thoughtfully.

"What?" Missy asked.

"You sound very Scottish when you're worried about me," I stated. "It's come to a point where you could even be hiding your concern, but I'd still know you feel it because I'd hear your accent more strongly."

"I didn't even realize that," Missy said.

We kept walking, and the hallway brought us back to the control room. Nothing had changed since I had left. Yaz was still sitting by one of the golden crystals, looking broody.

"Hi," I said hesitantly, not sure if she wanted to talk.

"Hey," Yaz mumbled, barely looking up.

I sat down next to her.

"You can regenerate, right?" Yaz asked suddenly.

"Yes," I answered.

"And Ashildr?" Yaz continued. "Your sister?"

"Of course," I replied.

"If she regenerated, how would you feel?" Yaz persisted.

"She'd still be my sister," I stated. "She'd have the same soul. Nothing would change, really." I omitted the fact that my people had the same eyes and personality every regeneration, while Time Lords changed more.