Companion of Death - A Doctor Who Fanfiction (Thasmin)

Interlude: Fear

So I might be revealing too much in this interlude, but Echo is scared and needs to talk to somebody. She figured out her tattoo last chapter and used it to summon fire on command, so she knows everything is about to hit the fan. Two-part finale comes next, then an epilogue. There almost definitely will not be a sequel.

I sat curled up in fetal position on the Doctor's purple sofa, knowing what was coming next. I was honestly terrified. If I could change things, I would make it so that I would never have to get involved. But I couldn't. I couldn't mess with my own timeline. That was unwise. It could have massive consequences. If I were to change this, my whole life would be different.

The couch dipped beside me as Missy sat down, regarding me worriedly. I dropped my gaze to my hands, nervously fiddling with my leather cuff.

"You're scared," Missy observed.

I said nothing. There was nothing to say. It wasn't as though I could tell her.

"It's okay to be scared," Missy continued. "Everybody is scared of something."

"What makes you scared?" I asked.

"The thought that I could lose you," the Time Lady said frankly. "The thought that one day, you'll see me for who I really am. You'll realize how evil I am. And you'll leave me."

"You're not evil," I told her. "Nobody is that two-dimensional. When I first met you, I thought you were. But then you came aboard and I got to know a different side of you. Damon went on and on about yin and yang, but it was you who taught me that people, like diamonds, have many facets. The Doctor tries to be good, but the darkness in her will haunt her all her days. Even what Tecteun did to Ashildr and me was not solely evil. Yes, it was horrible, but it was not some diabolical scheme. She wanted to understand us and went about it the wrong way. And then the Shobogan leaders decided to steal the secret of regeneration.

"My own people were no better," I continued. "What they did was essentially the same thing. Experimentation on living subjects. They killed so many before they finally 'succeeded'." I spat the last word, disgusted with what they had made me.

"What did they do?" Missy asked gently.

I decided to tell her. She would know soon enough, anyway. The day was coming, and they would all know. It would be a secret no longer. Telling Missy now couldn't hurt. It wouldn't bring the day closer. There was no time closer to the present that it could be.

"The Time Lords built a weapon with a conscience," I stated. "My people did one better: they built the weapon into a person."

"What?!" Missy gasped.

"The Time Lords' weapon essentially had two consciences," I continued. "The conscience of the weapon itself and the conscience of the person who sought to use it. My people's weapon has no conscience at all – when it is activated, the weapon's host basically shuts down. The weapon takes control of the body, with the host pushed into the backseat. The host is pretty much dissociated. They're not a person anymore; they're just the Inferno."

"That's horrible," Missy uttered, shocked.

"People are horrible," I stated. "The Inferno Project sort of reminds me of the humans' Little Albert study. They took a kid whose parents were connected to the researchers, so they felt coerced into giving consent for the experiments without being properly informed about what they intended to do. They were never clear about that. And the Inferno Project didn't even give the option to withdraw the child from the experiments."

"I'm not familiar with the Little Albert study," Missy said, "but that should be illegal."

"Little Albert was a study into classical conditioning," I began, hoping that I didn't sound like a textbook. "The researchers saw that babies are born scared of loud noises, so they used that to try make the poor kid scared of other stuff. His mom worked in that hospital and didn't want to risk her job, so she gave permission for them to use her baby in the study. When they showed Little Albert a white rat, which previously didn't scare him, they whacked a metal pole behind him and he cried. Do that enough times, and he'd cry even when they didn't hit the pole. They made a baby scared of fluffy white things."

"Wow," Missy uttered.

"The humans came out with a list of ethics for psychological experiments after that," I continued. "What my people did... Project Inferno was above the law. The authorities were behind it. And you can't punish the ruling powers for doing their job. It's like that everywhere. My people were afraid of war. The Inferno would be the ultimate weapon against their enemy. Of course, it was top secret. They couldn't have the enemy knowing about it."

"You seem to know a lot about it, given that it's a secret," Missy observed.

"You haven't gotten it yet?" I asked incredulously. "It was called the Inferno Project." I paused, waiting for her to get it. "Penny in the air."

Realization dawned on Missy's face. "It's – you're – " she stuttered.

"And the penny drops," I said.

"Inferno," Missy said softly. "It can mean hell or – or –"

I said nothing, letting her assimilate my revelation.

"Fire," she finished in a whisper.

"Now you know," I told her. "That's why I'm scared. The fire is getting stronger, and it can only mean one thing. War is coming."

Missy took my hand in hers. "I'll be there with you," she promised.

I took my hand back, shaking my head. "It's too dangerous," I said, regret in my voice. "I already told the Doctor that she has to leave me there, and take everybody to safety. I can't have you dying on me."

"I'll regenerate," Missy stated.

"You won't," I retorted. "The regenerative ability comes from my people. And the people who made me weren't stupid. The Inferno prevents regeneration. If you die, you stay dead."

"But your enemy –" Missy started.

"Are also my people," I stated. "It's not an intergalactic war. My homeworld is in a realm of its own. We don't get invaders. Of course, that's also why it was so difficult for Ashildr and me to try to get back..."

"The Hybrid prophecy?" Missy asked.

I nodded. "There is a gateway into our realm," I conceded, "but it's almost always closed. It was opened when they sent Ashildr and me into this realm, and they'll open it again when they realize that they need the Inferno."

"Why did they send you two away?" Missy asked in Scottish tones. "And what about your parents?"

"My parents worked for the government," I stated, keeping my emotions in check. "Not very high positions, so when the Project took me, they were scared to protest. But eventually enough higher-ups protested to the Project, and it was shut down. Too late, because it was already completed. And then the rulers realized that, to appease them, they had to get rid of any proof of the Project. They killed my parents and were going to kill me when Ashildr forced them to let me live. She was only a child, but she always had a warrior spirit. She could be really scary. So they let me live, but they cast us both out of the homeworld. She was to watch over me and ensure that the fire never took hold. If I ever showed signs of summoning fire, she was to kill me. Not that they bothered telling her about the fire. They only said that if I showed signs of 'magic beyond the norm'." I scoffed. "How very vague."

"Clear as mud," Missy agreed.

I snuggled closer to her, not saying anything more. Everything had been said. Now I just needed comfort from my friend. Missy wrapped her arm around me and rubbed my arm in consolation. I laid my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes, enjoying the last moments I had before going to war.