Let Me

14. pathetic

||No one's POV||

-

Chaerin and Chan had just gotten into the studio, the room always feeling so warm for the two of them. The constant jokes between the two of them never ceasing.

One of their favorite ones stemming from a photo in his camera roll.

"Babygirl?" Chae questions looking at his phone shoving it into his face.

"Oh, that I don't even remember." He says laughing it off continuing to work.

From there Chan started to call Chaerin 'Babygirl' her blushes from the word going unnoticed by the older oblivious one.

The two of them were just finishing on the song, just the performance had to be put together. For this they decided to do their work in an empty practice room.

Rather then making a full dance they chose to just make it so then they were singing/rapping most of the time to each other, with a bit of dancing.

That's how the dance part looks like that. It happens in the middle of the song, and for it the music will pause briefly.

The two of them started to breath heavily, just finishing practicing the dance part for the 40th time that day. Both of them were exhausted to a point where they couldn't speak, the room filled with a comfortable silence and their breaths.

Taking a big gulp of water Chan looks over to Chaerin catching his breath enough to call for her, to see if she was hungry.

"Babygirl?" Chan says to gain Chaerin's attention.

"Daddy?" She respond looking him in the eye, the response catching Chan fully by surprise seeing as it seemed to slip off her tongue so easily. He was frozen, not being able to move just staring at the female, that inched closer and closer to him as his breath picks up.

"Hey, Chan. You okay?" She says moving his bangs out of his face, seeing the sweat seeped hair. Worried she places her hand on his forehead to check his temperature, trying to make sense of his sudden silence. Trying to find the words all Chan can muster up to do is take her hand and bring it down to her side. Looking straight into her brown eyes, filled with worry.

Looking into each others eyes they feel so in thralled by each other's presence. Feeling their breaths merge into a hot cloud around them. Faces getting closer and closer. Then Chaerin in a spurt of confidence, decides to just dive into the kiss, annoyed by the gap. She takes his head into her hands as he looks into her eyes, with an unreadable look. Both of them closing their eyes just on instinct as their lips touch, a spark is ignited between the two. Not thinking of his actions Chan takes his hands and places them onto her waist, pulling her closer bringing her bottom lip in between his teeth making her gasp at his action. With no hesitation he slips his tongue into her mouth something in his mind telling him to go farther as he feels her pull at the roots of his hair. Breaths becoming more and more shallow, not letting go of each other melting into the kiss. Calmly with no thought Chan brings his lips to her neck traveling down it till he finds the spot that makes her let out a small whimper. Making him focus on the spot feeling her throat move as she she lets out deep shaky breaths as he keeps going, pulling away from her neck looking at his work before going back to attack her lips, until the two of them were breathless. Until Chan breaks the kiss to breath, his eyes wide realizing what he had done, in the heat of things.

"I'm sorry Chae, I don't like you in that way." Chan says getting up and running out of the door.

Looking at the door as it closes Chaerin feels her heart shatter. Being consumed by everything happening, still dazed by the actually kiss. Slowly with her shaky hand she lifts her hand up to her lips, to feel the swollen parts, biting down on the lip he had taken not too long ago before he bolted off.

'But why, oh that's right. He doesn't like me in that way.'

She reminisces feeling her chest tighten at the thought. It was her first kiss, but she wasn't forgetting it anytime soon, especially after ending like that, there was no way to get it out of her mind. The look on his face, full of horror, sadness, regret.

'Am I really that bad.'

Chaerin turns to the mirror to get a good look at her swollen lips. Gasping at her look. Bringing her fingers over the spot on her neck, darkened with a hickey from him. Normally, used to symbolize how you were theirs, but nope. Chan didn't even like her.

'Makes sense, I wouldn't even like me. You carry so much baggage anyways, he doesn't need that. He needs someone to love him with no problems to fix, that he can't even do anything about.'

Looking in the mirror she watches in frustration at her figure as she pulls at her hair, letting out pained salty tears fall from her face as she slightly yells at her self. Wiping her tears off she looks at her surroundings. Groaning when she sees his phone still in the room.

'Look at you so pathetic, can't even keep you pathetic feelings under wrap, you could have not just kissed him.'

Picking up her stuff and his phone she goes out the door and over to Twice's room. Thinking she'll just drop it off with them since they are also close with him.

Walking over to their door she opens it knowing it doesn't matter if she knocked or not since it's her unnies. She opens the door looking for the girl, landing on two figures on the corner, huddled together. Looking a one their their faces her eyes widen in shock as they lean in and share a small kiss. The boy's eyes widening in shock as they pull away. Looking away to meet his eyes with Chaerin who stands at the door her hand over her mouth that is gaping wide open.

"I see, I get it now. Here's your phone. If you don't mind can we just take a break with the song, we're ahead of schedule anyways. I just have a bit I'd like to work on first since I haven't done anything since Keshi's death." She says placing his phone on their speaker, voice wavering as she bites her lip to keep her from crying.

"Wait! Babygirl, Chae. Please listen to me." Chan says holding on to her wrist.

"Fuck off, it might have just been a mistake for you Chan but it wasn't for me. Not only was it my first, but I really do like you. I can't believe it. You really had me thinking that you felt the same, you even kissed back. But now I'm just marked but a guy that already has someone." Chae rants pulling her hair away to show the dark mark on her neck.

"I'm sorry Jihyo unnie, I didn't mean to I had no idea." Chae rips her hands out of his grip. Staring into his eyes that now held that same look as earlier filled with mixed emotions.

"So maybe I don't want to listen to your bullshit. I just need time okay. Just don't talk to me for awhile. Maybe even ever." Chae finishes before opening the door and walking over to Jackson's studio, a place she's always thought of as her get away. Not even bothering to knock on the door before rushing in, the closing and locking the door behind her. Slumping down the door letting her tears fall freely now that she was mostly alone. A tight grip on her hair as she cries.