Let Me

06. words

||Chaerin's POV||

~

I just got home after saying 'bye' to the Stray Kids member, happy to know that I was to meet with them again soon. 

*Bzz* 

Unknown:

hello, this is Chaerin right? 

Chae:

yes, Chan?

Chan:

the one and only

Chae:

stupid

Chan: 

i'm not stupid

whatever

you wanna met up with us tomorrow

we're going to Lotte

Chae:

Uh

sure

Chan:

Yayaya! 

ah! Jisung just tacked me, he's excited you are joining us

Chae:

lol

see you tomorrow then

Chan:

see you tomorrow

When I thought soon I wasn't really thinking this soon. But It feels good to be happy.

Flashback 

"No fucking way"

Quickly I got a jacket and put on my shoes. I took out my phone and did the only thing that felt right.

*Ring Ring-*

"Hellooooo Chae!" Park Jisung yells into the phone

"meet me at 127's dorm."  I say with on emotion, not knowing how to feel in the moment

"OK." He say seriously

"Bye" I hang up

*beep*

I walk into the boys' dorm building and the worker in front looks at me and says.

"To 127, U or Dream" 

A procedure I was very familiar with and so was she.

"127"

"ok, have a good time" she says with a smile.

I start to walk over to the boys' dorm with my head down getting to the room from memory 

*knock knock*

The door is opened for me by Jisung, and Jungwoo.

"Oppas" I say with tears in my eyes

They open their arms to me and I jump into them and start to cry on Jisung's shoulder. Jisung whispers in my ear. 

"up" And I jump so he can carry me into Jungwoo's room since it's bigger

Sitting on the bed I sob for a bit longer then slowly start to calm down as Jungwoo draws circles on my back. Looking at me with worry.

I take a deep breath and start to speak."Keshi he. He" I start to choke out 

"Hey it's okay we are here, you don't have to tell us now, whenever you are ready." Jisung says calmly 

I give myself a few more seconds to breath then I start again.

"He took his life." 

They both look at me knowing how hurt I am and hug me tightly. 

They both look at each other with a knowing look almost like a vow to not cry in front of me, to be strong for me. Keshi wasn't as close as I was to the boys but, he almost was since he would hang out with them with me from time to time to 'make sure you are hanging with the right crowds' whatever that meant.

"I'm sorry baby, but it's okay we'll get through this." Jungwoo calms me with a small smile tears forming at the back of his throat threatening to burst out. 

The smile wasn't filled with worry, or pity. But rather sincerity, he meant what he said. Yet I had also thought Keshi meant what he said when he said the same thing.

'it's okay we will get through this together, I promise'

"why can words can make you seem so sure of something, but your actions will always betray you." I say with a bitter smile, a single teardrop rolling off of my cheek. 

The three of us sat in comfortable silence for a while not needing to say anything, but just hugging each other tightly said everything that needed to be said, with me in the middle of the two olders calming my heavy breaths from crying.

"I'm scared, I don't know what to do anymore I always followed Keshi and what he told me to do. But now without him I feel lost."  Allowing myself to just let everything out to the two boys that have been close to me since our pre-debut years.

"I think you should just focus on being happy for now, heal." Jisung said giving me a warm kiss on my head.

"Okay then, let's go get ice cream!" Jungwoo smiles knowing I won't ever turn down icecream.

"okay Upie!" I say with my hands up waiting to be picked up on one of their backs

Jisung looked at and smirked

"Gotta catch me first" Then he ran off into Taeyong's room, to tell him they were going out but also to show him she was ok. He may not be close to her but he still worried.