UNCHANGEABLE - TIAOM

05

"i knew you were just fucking each other," says zee, looking up and blowing smoke out of her mouth.

kim glares at her former comrade. "why do things usually sound bad whenever they come out of your mouth?"

zee chuckles softly. "when i heard the news about you two hanging out, i knew it's all about sex. everyone knows this chick of yours has a reputation of playing around." she nods her head at the direction of their table where suzy is talking animatedly to yam and jai. "i'm still asking myself what were you thinking when you got yourself involved with her. i've never seen you as someone who'll take things casually."

kim takes a deep breath in, inhaling the fresh sea breeze. "i guess this is my way of trying to live a normal life again. this is what all of you wanted, for me to mingle again, right?"

zee nods hesitantly. "well, yes, we want that. more importantly, we want you to be happy. are you happy with her?"

kim thinks for a moment. "she... she makes me feel things..."

"things..." zee smirks. "that's your libido speaking, man." kim throws a dried leaf her way, and she laughs. "c'mon. you wouldn't be joining me here in my cig break if you're really into her. you're not even a smoker."

kim sighs. "i don't know... i just... i guess i just want to step out here and loosen up a bit. there are many people inside."

zee hums, putting the cigarette back into her mouth, inhaling a waft of smoke, before blowing it in the opposite direction. "it's still the milf, right?"

"milf?"

"'mom-i'd-like-to-fuck'." zee quotes with her fingers and kim punches her arm. "yah! i'm just trying to lighten up the mood! chill, man!"

"don't talk about her in that way," says kim, brows furrowed.

"i know. i'm sorry. she's still hot though," says zee and kim raises her hand for another smack. "i'm just saying! on a serious note, it's still the mother of the kid we saved from two years ago, right?"

kim says nothing. she turns away from zee and looks far ahead.

"admirable," says zee.

"it sucks, to be honest." kim sighs. "it's like i'm stuck in the same place while her life keeps moving. i don't fucking know why my brain is still not accepting that it's already over for us. it's been like what, nine years?"

they leave the topic hanging in the air as both of them stays silent, feeling the blow of the wind and listening to echoes of the sea waves.

"to be honest, i wouldn't blame you for still hoping," says zee. "i've seen how uncomfy she looked when suzy came. i and yam were observing her the whole time while you and suzy pda-ed. you guys ruined her mood."

kim was about to argue about her and suzy doing pda but zee continues.

"i'm not blind. i can tell if someone's faking a smile or not. and she's trying her best to fake a damn good smile since suzy arrived," zee adds. "maybe you're stuck at where you are now because you know she still feels the same way? why don't you talk to her about it and see what happens?"

"and try to get them to divorce? no, thanks."

"isn't that what you want, to get her back?

"i won't lie that i secretly wish they would break up. but i'm worried about katie. she's too young to experience something like that. i don't want her to go through that pain. more importantly, i don't want to be the reason for that pain of hers."

zee takes one last puff of the cigarette before throwing the bud in the trash can. "tough..." she says, grimacing. "you love the mother but you also love the kid."