The nanny Diaries

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

THE NANNY DIARIES

The whole twenty-foot area is filled with activity tables and games that seem mostly to involve throwing things. (A miscalculation on someone's part, I think, as a small Big Bird goes down.)

I notice very quickly that the grown-ups drink trays aren't circulating in here and lean out over the fence to swipe a little relief.

Occasionally parents swing by, like maître d's, to ask if the child is enjoying him/herself and remark, "A marshmallow ghost! Ooooh, scary!" , then turn back to each other to add, "you just have no idea what our renovation is costing --- it's really staggering. But Bill wanted a screening room."

And they shrug, roll their eyes, and shake their heads.

Mrs. X has come in with Sally Kirkpatrick, a woman I recognise from Grayer's swimming class, to watch her three-foot Batman try to obliterate his ring-toss opponents.

I come up behind them to check in about bedtime.

"Your new girl's really good at getting Grayer in the pool," Mrs. Kirkpatrick says.

"Thanks, I wish I could take him, but Tuesday's my day at the Parents League and with ice skating on Fridays and French on Thursdays and CATS on Wednesday I need one day to do something for myself."

"I know, I'm so busy. I'm on four different committees this season. Oh, can I put you down for a table for the Breast Ball?"

"Of course."
"So what happened to Caitlin? Your new girl didn't seem to know."

"Sally, it was a nightmare. I'm lucky I found Nanny when I did! Caitlin, whose work I never found to be exemplary, by the way, but I put up with it, because, well, one does. Anyway, she had the nerve to ask for the last week of August off after I already gave her the first two weeks of January when we went to Aspen."

"You're kidding."

"Well, I just felt she was trying to take complete advantage of me---"

"Ryan, play fair --- that was lolanthe's ring," Sally shouts at her Batman.

"But I positively did not know what to do," Mrs. X continues, sipping Perrier.

"So you fired her?" Sally asks, eagerly.

"First I talked to a professional problem consultant---"

"Oh, who'd you use?"

"Brian Swift."

"I hear he's great."

"He was fantastic --- helped me put the whole thing into perspective. He made it clear that my authority as house manager had been called to question and I had to bring in a replacement to drive the point home."

"Brilliant. Don't let me forget to get his number from you. I'm having such problems with Rosarita. The other day I asked her to run up to Midtown to pick up a few things while Ryan was in hockey class and she said she didn't want to because she didn't think she'd have enough time to get back. I mean, does she think I don't know how long it takes to get around?"

"I know, it's appalling. After all, when the kids are in class they're just sitting there, on our dime. I mean, really."

"So, are you done with all your interviews?" Sally asks.