THE NANNY DIARIES
Many dances and bottles of champagne later I float back to my apartment in a bubbly haze.
George slides up to my heels as soon as I unlock the door and I carry him back to my corner of the room.
"Happy New Year, George," I mumble as he purrs under my chin.
Charlene left this morning for Asia and I am giddy with the three weeks of little freedoms this affords me.
As I kick off my heels I see the light on my answering machine flashing in a soft blur. Mrs. X.
"What do you think, George, shall we risk it?" I bend over to let him down before pressing the "new message" button.
"Hi, Nan? Um, this is a message for Nan. I think this is the right number . . ." H. H.'s slurred voice fills the apartment.
"Oh, my God!" I scream, turning to check my appearance in the mirror.
"Right. So um, yeah . . . I'm just calling to say 'Happy New Year.' Um, I'm in Africa. And --- wait --- what time is it there? Seven hours, that's ten . . . eleven . . . twelve. Right. So I'm with my family and we are about to head into the bush. And it's the last outpost with a phone . . . But I just wanted to say that I bet you had a hard week. See! I know how you've been working hard and I just wanted you to know, um . . .
that I know . . . that you do . . . work hard, that is. Um, and that you have a happy New Year. Okay, so then --- I hope this is your machine. Right. So that's all, just wanted you to know. Um . . . bye."
I stumble to my bed in utter euphoria. "Oh, my God," I mumble again in the darkness, before passing out with a grin plastered to my face.
°°°°
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hi, you've reached Charlene and Nan. Please leave a message." Beep.
"Hi, Nanny, I hope you're in. I'm sure you're probably in. Well, Happy New Year." I crack one eye open.
"It's Mrs. X. I hope you've had a good vacation. I'm calling because . . ." Jesus, it's eight o'clock in the morning!
"Well, there's been a change of plans. Mr. X. apparently needs to go back to Illinois for work. And I, well, Grayer's --- we're all very disappointed. So, anyways, we won't be going to Aspen and I wanted to see what you're up to for the rest of the month."
On New Year's Day! I stick my hand outside the covers and start flailing for the phone. I unplug the receiver and throw it on the floor
There.
I pass out again.
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hi, you've reached Charlene and Nan. Please leave a message." Beep.
"Hi, Nanny, it's Mrs. X. I left a message earlier." I crack one eye open.
"I don't know if I mentioned, but if you could let me know today . . ." Jesus, it's nine-thirty in the morning! On New Year's Day! I stick my hand outside the covers and start flailing for the phone and this time actually manage to pull the right plug out.
YOU ARE READING
The nanny Diaries
HumorNan has a tricky relationship with her employer, Mrs. A non- existent relationship with Mr X. But she loves their little boy to pieces. In between looking after four-year-old Grayer and running a thousand errands for Mrs X, his rich, upr...
