THE NANNY DIARIES
"Like, literally panties?" Sarah asks me the next day as she tries on yet another shade of pink lipstick at the Still counter.
"I don't know! Do I have to look for them? I feel like I have to look for them."
"How much are these people paying you? I mean, do you have a line? Is there a line they could cross?" Sarah is furiously puckering.
"Too pink?"
"Baboon butt," I say.
"Try one of the plummy shades," the makeup artist behind the counter suggests. Sarah reaches for a tissue and starts over.
"Mrs. X is coming back tomorrow. I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be doing," I say, leaning against the counter in exasperation.
"Um, quitting?"
"No, out here in the real world, where I pay rent."
"TOOOOOOTS!!!!!" Sarah and I freeze and look across the atrium to where two piles of shopping bags are calling Sarah's high school nickname, which rhymes with "boots."
The bags make their way around the balcony toward us, parting to reveal Alexandra and Langly, two of our classmates from Chapin.
Sarah and I exchang glances. In high school they lived in Birkenstocks and followed the Dead.
Now they stand before us, Alexandra at nearly six feet and Langly at barely five, in shearling coats, cashmere turtlenecks, and a shitload of Cartier.
"TOOTS!" they cry again as Alexandra envelops Sarah in a big hug, not clonking her on the head with one of her shopping bags.
"Toots, what's up?" Alexandra asks. "So, do you have a man?"
Sarah's eyelids lift. "No. Well, I mean there safely was someone, but . . ." She's starting to sweat, foundation beading on her brow.
"I have a faaabulous man --- he's Greek. He's soo gorgeous. We're going to the Riviera next week," Alexandra coos. "So, what are you up to?" She asks me.
"Oh, same old, same old. Still working with kids."
"Huh," Langly says quietly. "What're you gonna do next year?"
"Well, I'm hoping to work with an after-school program."
Their eyes narrow, as if I had just switched languages unexpectedly.
"Focusing on using creative arts? As a tool for self-expression? And, um, building community?"
I am getting completely blank looks. "Kathie Lee's really involved?" I offer as a last-ditch effort to . . . what?
"Right. What about you?" Langly almost whispers to Sarah.
"I'm going to work at Allure."
"Oh, my God!!" they squeal.
"Well," Sarah continues, "I'm only going to be answering the phones, but---"
YOU ARE READING
The nanny Diaries
HumorNan has a tricky relationship with her employer, Mrs. A non- existent relationship with Mr X. But she loves their little boy to pieces. In between looking after four-year-old Grayer and running a thousand errands for Mrs X, his rich, upr...
