Love, Beth

Chapter Three

Dear Kate,

Okay, so I lied to you a bunch. I mean, you could probably have guessed that after I came clean with you. I don't doubt that you pieced things together over time. Hell, maybe you figured out that I like you. 

Oh, and thank you. I know I said it that night but I honestly can't thank you enough. For accepting me, for letting me vent to you, for letting me move in with you... You've done so much for me and I don't know how I could've ever repaid you. That day was the second worst day of my life... aside from... never mind.

The night I told my parents that I'm a lesbian did not go how I'd imagined... I thought they'd be accepting but they weren't... My mom just started crying, murmuring about how it wasn't possible while my dad yelled at me to leave the house. But you know that... But you didn't know the horrible things he called me... I guess I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry about me. I mean, you worried regardless considering I was temporarily without a place to stay.

After he yelled at me I went to my room and packed everything I could... the only thing I left behind was the framed photo of me and my parents when I was a toddler. Out of anger, I'd slammed it face down and I heard the glass shatter but I didn't care. After that, I drove to your apartment. It must've been a shock to see me standing outside your door, tears streaming down my face and bags in hand. And yet, you let me in and dropped everything to listen to my problems. 

And that's when I came out to you. You asked what was wrong, what'd happened and I told you, and I remember my exact words, 'My parents kicked me out because... because I'm gay'. You didn't ask questions, your reaction wasn't shocked or angry, just sad because you felt bad for me. I hated being weak in front of you, I never wanted you to see me cry but sometimes I couldn't help it. 

I cried so much that night. I even cried myself to sleep which you likely heard... sorry. But talking to you really helped. That next morning, you even made my favourite breakfast: chocolate chip pancakes. Thank you for that, for everything. You even refused to let me pay you for rent, just asked me to chip in with the bills. I still live here, by the way. I would sleep in your room but it just hurts too much. Sometimes I'll go in there to dust things and all but that's about it.

You're lucky, you know, to have supporting parents... I'm not going to lie, I'm a little jealous. But I mean I got to live with you, so maybe I wouldn't change a thing. You came out as bi to your parents in the 9th grade and they were supportive. You told me and I acted quite casual but I was hiding my excitement. I remember wondering if that meant you'd date me and then it struck me that I had a crush on you. Of course, I never had the balls to tell you. So that's why I'm telling you here...

I'm sorry this letter is covered in tears. I should probably stop writing now. I'll write you another letter soon though. I promise.

Love, Beth