Love, Beth

Chapter Ten

Dear Kate,

Alright, it's been a month. I want this to be the last letter because it'll be the tenth. It just feels so much more neat then. Anyway, the visit was nice for the most part. Of course, everyone cried a bunch because we all miss you so much. But they were so nice to me, as always.

I stayed in your room for the night. Obviously, it'd been cleared out and turned into a plain guest bedroom since you moved out, but I could still remember it as how it'd been as you grew up. All the stuffed animals, the posters, the butterfly bedsheets, all gone now but still clear in my memory. The sticky notes on your mirror, the framed photos of us, the fairy lights you put on the bedframe... again, gone, but I remember some of that stuff was brought to the apartment. They're still there, in your empty room...

Anyway, I'm still living in our apartment, but not alone... You know how we always wanted to get a puppy? I got one! She's a corgi named Pumpkin, and she's asleep on my lap right now. She's a real cutie. She's always sitting or sleeping outside your room. I also bring her when I go to visit you. I hope you've noticed that I've kept my promise of visiting you every month so far. Pumpkin keeps trying to bite at the flowers, though. What a little goofball.

Also, I found a bunch of photos of us together through the years and I put them up on one of the walls in the living room. I hope you don't mind. I also found some of your sticky note messages (the ones saying stuff like 'Have a great day, Beth! I love youuuu') and I put them up in both your room and mine. I just think they're cute. In fact, I picked up your little habit of writing stuff on sticky notes, so there's that.

I miss you a lot. I don't think I'll ever fully recover from losing you. You were the only one I've ever loved. You're my first (and, hell, maybe even my last) love. I'm always going to love you. I will never forget you or the happiness you made me feel. You made me glad to be alive, you gave me something to look forward to. Thank you. I love you so much. This is my last letter, but I promise I'll still visit you at least once a month. You mean the world to me. I'm sorry I never got to tell you that I love you. I was scared but I wish I did. Hopefully you can forgive me, my love. Wherever you are, I hope you're doing well. Goodbye.

Love, Beth