Broken Memory ✓

23. The Truth

When we get to Caleb's house, Erin's car is in the driveway. Caleb and I get off the bike and I push it into the grass quickly. We run inside, Connor right behind us, and hear Erin's voice call out. "Hey, Caleb! What are you feeling like for dinner tonight?"

"Mom, we need to talk," Caleb calls back. Erin's footsteps approach us and when she sees the three of us, confusion strikes her face.

"About... What? What's happening?"

"About the thing you've been avoiding for years upon years. My memory loss. Why Dad left. Why everyone at school thinks I'm a murderer. Why I just unintentionally tried to stab Connor."

"What? Honey, there's nothing to talk about. I'm sure you guys were just playing. In fact, I think it's time they go for the day, isn't it getting late?"

"Mom, we're not leaving until I figure out what's wrong with me."

"Wrong with you? Nothing's wrong with you!"

"Then why did I just try to kill my best friend?!"

"You didn't!" she pounds her hand on the nearby coffee table. "Now, tell your friends to go home."

"Mom, please. Stop denying it. For me? I can't keep living wondering how dangerous I am... Wondering if I was just so horrible that Dad left... Wondering why you refuse to talk about it... I can't keep doing this."

Erin sighs, nervously fidgeting with the ends of her hair. "Okay, okay yes... I've hidden quite a lot from you... But it was all with good intentions!"

"I appreciate that, but I think the best thing to do by now is tell me all you've been hiding. Tell us," he gestures to me and Connor.

"Can we sit down somewhere? Let's go to the table. I'll uh... I'll get some tea to calm my nerves."

After a few minutes, we're all sitting at the table. I'm next to Caleb and he's next to Erin at the head of the table, while Connor is across from him. Erin sips at her mug of tea, anxiously glancing between us.

"So?" Caleb encourages her to start.

"I just... Don't know where to start..."

"Then I'll begin with what just happened. Up until I heard Ash's voice, I had no control or memory of what I was doing. It was like waking up from a dream I couldn't recall. I was holding a pair of scissors and they were about to hurt Connor. Have I done this before?"

"...Yes, yes you have."

"When?"

She sighs, shifting her weight in her chair. "Well," her voice cracks a little. "Uh... The murders years ago... They happened coincidentally before your father left and uh... You did them."

"Oh..." Caleb says blankly, soaking in the reality. "And the recent ones?"

"I don't know for sure... But it looks that way. Their bodies were found in the same forest..."

"Oh," Caleb's voice cracks this time, I notice him trembling slightly. "So I really am a monster, huh? They were right about me."

"Caleb, you have to understand-" Erin attempts to stop whatever he's going to do next in reaction to the news.

"What? Oh, I didn't mean it? If I didn't want them dead at all, then I wouldn't have killed them, it's that simple!"

"Caleb," I rest my hand on his shoulder. He jumps a little, then turns towards me, tears brimming his shameful eyes. "Let her explain... Please."

"Yes, honey," Erin takes our attention. "You don't mean to hurt anyone. It's like you're stuck in some sort of trance fueled by anger. But you can't stop yourself... In fact, I don't even know how easily Ash got it to stop."

"Why?" Caleb questions.

"Why what?"

"Why do I have these trance things? I'm dangerous! Why didn't you guys ever send me to a professional? Or lock me up from the world? I-I could go to jail if the police find out! There's blood on my hands-!" Caleb is shaking heavily now, his breathing growing erratic.

"Caleb, you need to calm down," I tell him gently.

"I can't! I killed people! I could hurt you without even trying, I-I can't be near anyone! It's not safe!"

I grab Caleb's hand and squeeze it tightly, hoping it would soothe him. He squeezes back, resting his head in his empty hand on the table. We stay like this for a few minutes until he gains control of his breathing again. "Caleb, you're not isolating yourself from humans. We're going to figure this out."

"Why did Dad leave?" Caleb suddenly asks, like his prior freak out never even happened. "Was it me? Did I scare him away?"

"What? No... Your dad, uh... Well..."

"Just say it," he commands. "Come on."

"Okay, okay," Erin shakes her head. "He left because he was scared."

"I knew it!"

"But there's more to it!" she exclaims. "He was scared because he knew about your trances and also knew you were mad at him a lot. He and I got into fights often anyways, but stayed together for you... But when he realized anger was the source of the trances, he decided it'd be best to leave so nobody gets hurt."

"So it was my fault!"

"Yes and no, it was in a way, but we should have broken up a long time ago."

"That doesn't answer why I have memory loss," Caleb points out.

Erin nods. "He wiped your memory before leaving... Or at least the bad parts. Besides, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't remember any of the damage you did back then if you didn't remember what you just tried to do."

"How did he wipe my memory?"

"Something he invented. He was a very smart man... Just not the one for me, apparently."

"Can I meet him?"

"What?" Erin looks a tad uncomfortable.

"Can I meet Dad?"

"Uh..." she trails off, glancing away. "I don't know about that..."

"Mom."

"I-I guess it's time you meet him. Do you want to do that tomorrow?"

"That'd be great," Caleb glances at me, then Connor. "Can my friends come?"

Erin shakes her head, chuckling. "I don't think you're gonna give me a choice."

Caleb eagerly glances at us, waiting for our response.

Connor shakes his head. "I have to watch my siblings... I'm sorry."

Caleb nods understandingly, moving his gaze onto me.

"I can go," I tell him. He smiles and wraps me into a hug.

"Thank you."

Connor and I leave Caleb's house in the evening. We walk together and roll our bikes along, overwhelmed by all of the information we've learned today. But I still need to give him an answer about the thing he asked me earlier.

"So, Connor... I never answered your question."

"I think I know the answer," he says.

"Yeah, I... I just don't feel that way about you. You're very sweet, but... I look at you like a brother. I'm sorry." I slip the ring off of my finger and hand it to him. He puts it into his pocket and I see his eyes tearing up. "Aww, Connor... Don't cry."

A painful grin reaches his face and he shakes his head, wiping his eyes. "I-I'm okay."

"Save the ring for someone who deserves it."

"Yeah..." he sniffles. "Does this change our friendship?"

"Of course not, you're still my best friend."

"Alright, yeah. I can live with that."

"Hey, wait," I stop walking and turn to him. He stops and stares at me, sadness in his eyes. I step towards him and embrace him tightly. "You'll find someone, Con."

"But nobody like you."