You Only Have One Shot [Hetalia One-shots]

Freedom

Trigger warning

One step, that was all Ladonia needed to be free. One little push– just one very simple act of bravery; he should be able to do it. He has been planning this for far too long to give up now; the option to do so shouldn't even exist with how much effort he's already put in. All of this pain and suffering, slowly building tower of lies– all of this for one little chance. All he needed was this one chance. A chance to be free.

Ladonia ran his hands through his hair, sweat beading on his head. Such a heated moment, so much tension... His entire body slowly heating up was far too obvious to go under his radar for long, but even with his acknowledgement he made no effort to rid himself of it. He supposed it must be normal for those in this very same moment he was currently in. However, even with this building heat, the knot tightening in his stomach; he could not throw this opportunity to free himself away so easily. Not when he had been fighting for it for months, whether it be through lies about wounds or the dwindling supply of razor blades.

His hands gripped the railing tightly, eyes peering down at the rushing water below him. If he let go, he would fall. The very thought of it gave him excitement, no– this must be desire. He had come here for this; the sensation of finally bringing an end to his misery that has been bothering both him and others for months now.

Lars bit down on his bottom lip, pushing himself onto the railing. Something about this didnt feel quite right; he felt as though something was missing from the equation. Everything was set up accordingly, so what was off? Was it the lack of concern he recieved when he nearly broke character in front of his family? Or perhaps was it the fact that he felt unimportant enough to not leave a note? Maybe it was that last one, for he felt content with knowing that he would not be missed.

Ladonia shrugged off his jacket, allowing it to fall on the pavement behind him. Maybe this was the reason for his discomfort? The weight on blocking him from his solution felt lighter, but it did not leave entirely. Lars took off his shoes, tossing them behind him. The weight was far lighter now, but it was still there. Perhaps he should send a goodbye to the people who put up with him for so long? It should be easy, seeing that they were all in a groupchat together.

Pulling out his phone costed him much more energy than he expected; he wanted to close his eyes and fall fowards after the action. Opening the messaging app proved much harder, but even with how weak he truly was he managed to do it in the end. The others were talking about random things; he doubted he would be able to understand any of it in his current state. They all seemed so happy, should he really interrupt them? Then again, they would probably be happier knowing that he was going to be gone soon. That brought a smile to his face, the very thought of him being able to make the people he cares about deeply more happy than they already are.

With a simple tap, the keyboard popped up. His fingers started typing, but then he froze. How would he even phrase what he was doing? Was there a proper way to tell them? Should he even tell them after all? Perhaps a simple 'goodbye' would do the trick? Ladonia shook his head quickly, just saying goodbye would leave so many things unclear. Maybe...'You won't have to deal with me any longer guys :)'? No, that seemed far too sinister for his tastes. 'Thank you all so much for putting up with me, bye'? Lars hit send, powering off his phone shortly afterwards and tossing it onto his jacket.

He turned himself around, his back now facing the water he was going to meet soon. The weight had lifted off of him, but something still felt wrong? Lars shook his head; perhaps this was just his mind trying to convince him to stay around and bother everyone more than he already has. Besides, he already sent his goodbyes to his friends, no matter how pitifully short it may have been. He doesn't really have the time left to text anything bigger nor the energy to type anything more meaningful than that one sentence.