You Only Have One Shot [Hetalia One-shots]

Just One Smile

She was envious.

She was so... so envious.

No, envious was not the word to use, was it? Belarus thought long and hard, clenching her bow's fabric in her hands. Although, she did envy him to an extent.

She continued stitching up the open wound left in her bow, her brows furrowing as the metal tip pricked her finger accidentally. Stitches trailing up and down what was once an open wound; how many wounds had her older brother obtained that looked just like this? No, now was not the time to think of him. Not now, not when she was so close to breaking apart... so close to losing a usually unbreakable composure that held together in the roughest of times. Not when she was vulnerable and a single thought about how happy her brother was when she wasnt around... not... not....

Belarus shook her head, forcing her eyes shut while angrily swiping away her edelweiss colored bangs, "Pull yourself together, слабак. Big brother will come around to you some day... big sister is sure of it; she never tells a lie. No reason to..."

Cry. There was no reason to cry. Her hand brought itself up to rub against irritated eyes, a burning sensation causing her to wince as salt water threatened to gloss her cheeks with two narrow lines. Belarus huffed in disbelief at herself; yes, she and Russia just had a horrible fight and now Ukraine was trying to calm the other down, but it was nothing to cry over. She was stronger than this; there have been fights worse than this. Yet, the words from this one specific one stung; they stung like the thorns on the stems of roses, betraying their beautiful exterior.

Or maybe they werent from the words, but rather to nasty scowl that twister her brothers face into something ugly. The way his mouth barked words at her, how his eyes were so full of some type of hatred that he's never shared for anyone else... only her. She swallowed down the lump of a soon to be coming sob back down her throat; it's okay, brother always forgave her afterwards. He always was forgiven too, usually right after the fight had started simply because she loved her brother too much to hold a grudge.

Maybe he hated her because he didnt love her as much as she did?

Belarus jutted the needle through the fabric of her torn bow, swearing softly as the needle pressed itself into her other hand's thumb. Blood started forming droplets, pushing each other off and down her thumb. For a moment, she stated in a blank kind of comfort, feeling as though having her own blood spilled reminded her that she was still human and can make mistakes. However, the very danger of being spotted in such a vulnerable state scared her more than the fight that had taken place earlier. Lord knows what kind of hell would raise if her older siblings believed that she was— as silly as it sounded to her— harming herself. She wasn't that weak.

But they surely would see her in that light, wouldn't they?

Her eyes narrowed as she brought her thumb up to his mouth, sucking on it in a weak attempt to stop blood flow. A metallic taste struck her tongue, causing Belarus to gag on air and nearly break composure. For the moment, she gave up on healing the wound and removed it from her mouth, setting it on her lap in a proper fashion. She sighed, long and tiredly; she took a liking to being in this position, no matter how sinister it may come across to anyone who entered her room. 

A soft knocking came from her door, gently pulling it open after silence was the only thing received, "Bel? How are you faring?"

"I'm fine; is big brother alright?" Belarus asked, a concerned pair of byzantine colored irises looking at the plain styled woman in her doorframe, Ukraine.

A soft smile slipped onto said woman's cheeks, her face reeking of a warm approach to subjects not too far ahead in the conversation, "Ivan sometimes forgets he has such a wild temper; he was freaking out that he might have hurt you. However, he's okay now, just calming down."

"If he requires assistance with anything, I should be there to help him," Belarus stated in a monotone fashion, starting to push herself off of the mattress when Ukraine's hands grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her back down onto the bed.

"Natalia, why don't you talk to me instead?" Ukraine suggested, her eyebrows furrowing when Belarus refused to meet her gentle baby blue eyes with her own, darkened ones, "I know you must be upset from what happened; it's not healthy that you're bottling it up."

"It really is nothing, Katyusha," Belarus muttered, her hands being brought into Ukraine's as she sat next to her. She could practically sense the discontent with her answer, but she was not willing to allow Ukraine to know any further about her... problems? Would that be a good term to use?

"...You look close to tears, little sister; something has to be wrong," Ukraine spoke softly, starting to dance cautiously with the subject, afraid of accidentally scaring Belarus once she started visibly showing her vulnerability, "I promise not to speak a word of whatever to dare tell me to anyone else in the world, even if they held me at gunpoint."

Natalia, glanced around the room, indecisively. Her hands curled against Ukraine's in a desperate fashion that she wasnt aware of to hide, "...Why can't I make big brother smile?"

"What?"

"Whenever I'm around, Ivan stops smiling. I can't remember the last time he smiled when he was aware of me being near," Belarus said, a sad tone lacing her words loosely. Her eyes began staring at her own hands, which were pale compared to the lightly tanned skin that Ukraine obtained from farming crops all day and night, "I think he might despise me, big sister. I— I don't know what to do. I dont even know what im doing wrong."

Ukraine's eyes widened at what Belarus had just said, her baby blue eyes glossing over as she trailed her hands up to Natalia's shoulders, a little hesitant to continue any further or god forbid attempt to hug, "Big brother is a very complicated man; I don't even know what he's thinking or what he means with half of what he says sometimes. But I do know that he loves you, little sister; he loves you more than anyone else in the whole world."

"B-But—" Belarus wiped at her eyes using the side of her wrist, her teeth sinking down into her bottom lip as she cut herself off. She felt the urge to force her eyes shut, but she was all too aware of the tears lining the rims of her eyes to give into it. Lord help her if she cried in front of one of the many sources of her problems. She would rather, well, perish. Even in a ball of fire if that were the only method, "What... What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't love me after all?"

"Belarus..." Ukraine's eyes softened, her hands slowly moving upwards to cup her little sister's cheeks. Her thumbs rubbed little circles on the soft, pale flesh, catching the other's attention. Belarus' eyes flickered back up to to meet Ukraine's, although it was apparently very hard to maintain eye contact as they seemingly threatened to flee back to the ground, "Sometimes... you just need to trust in someone's feelings for you. Okay, sister?"

Belarus nodded, furrowing her eyebrows even further as her head hung down, strands of hair moving to fall onto Ukraine's arms. Katyusha saw this as a welcoming gesture for an embrace, so she leaned into Natalia's small frame, moving her hands downwards to wrap around her torso, "And even if he doesn't love you, which I doubt, you can trust me when I say I love you, sestra. I know it doesn't mean as much as big brother's love, but I hope it means something at least."

"It— I..." Natalia considered pushing her away, telling her to back off, scream at her— hell, even stab her where she stood because she thought that her love could possibly fix anything! Especially this gaping wound in her heart, caused by her older brother's antics and subtle, but still noticeable gestures towards how uncomfortable he was around her. She wanted to rip and tear and scream at her, demanding on how this was supposed to fix anything. Hugs don't fix wars, telling someone you love them doesn't fix a battle. So what was she... trying to...

"I love you too, starsha sestra."