I'm In Trouble

Clip 40

He refused everything. Not even his phone or music or anything at all. He just laid there unmoving, hidden under the blanket. He fell in and out of sleep but nothing could clear his mind, make the noises stop. He wished he didn't accept the deal. It was a dumb move, knowing his own trauma but it was the only thing he could think to do when offered an easy way out. Baekho didn't want him getting into deep shit trouble after all and he thought that would have been the best move rather than running away and potentially getting more people involved but no, he felt terrible. Horrible. Sick to the stomach and antsy all over his skin. He felt dirty and stained. Completely worthless. He knew letting his mind run wild was a horrible idea but he couldn't help it. It was a bad habit that had developed after his breakup and he didn't know how to stop it.

"You're such a slut. Im sure you use this pretty mouth of yours to suck off all those producers and directors to make you famous, right?"

That's not true.

It's not true.

"If you really like me, why don't you do it then? You can't, can you?"

"I-"

"We are already long over, Minhyun."

"I- I can do it! Just let me try. Please. Don't just leave me like this."

"Go on. Get down on your knees and do it."

"Will you really not break up with me if I do it?"

I don't want to.

I don't want to.

I don't want to.

"Fucking whore. You'll just do whatever it takes to get someone to love you, huh?"

"What? That's no-Ow."

"I don't ever want to see you again. If you show your face to me again, I'll tell everyone how much of a slut you are. Sucking on a guy's dick."

"N-no... I-"

"Get lost."

I only wanted you to love me.

Why won't you love me?

What have I done wrong?

What did I do to deserve this?

Why "-hyun. "

Minhyun breathed in and felt it again. The warm hand on his shoulder.

"Minhyun? It's me, Baekho."

Minhyun couldn't bring himself to show his face to Baekho. Or anyone. But his voice. It was still soothing admist the loud ones in his mind, gently pulling him back into reality. It also made him afraid that Baekho had such an effect on him. What if everything went wrong again? He didn't want that but everything was already going royally fucked.

"Are you awake? Seo Hyun hyung went home. Its just me now."

Minhyun rubbed his face, finding it dry as his tears had all evaporated and leaving not a trace except for the crusts in his eyes.

"Look. I know that there had to be a reason you did what you did and I just want you to know that I'll listen. I won't judge you and... You promised me before to be honest with me so... Won't you talk to me?"

Minhyun twitched when he heard what Baekho said. He did promise to change, to be more honest. He breathed in shakily and very slowly pulled the blanket down just a peep until his eyes welcomed the outside world again. He turned around slowly until Baekho came into view. The other had taken a seat on the chair and was just looking at him. Minhyun blinked and stared at Baekho who offered a thin smile.

"Hey."

Minhyun said nothing in response but Baekho didn't take it to heart. He knew Minhyun needed time right now especially if he had made up his mind to go against a murderer to potentially get himself killed on purpose.

"Your eyes are real swollen. Crying the whole day?"

Minhyun shrugged.

"How's the throat? Can't talk?"

He shook his head.

"So you're just refusing to?"

A nod. Baekho already knew the wound to his throat hadn't sever his vocal chords which he was honestly thankful for.

"Alright. Well, at least you're responding. I got you porridge. Won't you take some?"

Minhyun shook his head again.

"Are you sure?"

Nod.

"Alright. Were you forced to do it?"

Minhyun frowned a little and he shrugged. He honestly don't know if it could be called forcing when he had accepted it too.

"Hmm... Did you want to do it?"

He shook his head quickly but not too much since his neck still stung.

"Did they say they would let you go after if you listened to what they say?"

Nod.

"I knew it."

Baekho reached his hand out and Minhyun shrunk back so he stopped and pulled back. It hurt him a lot more than he expected to see Minhyun acting like this. As if he was a frightened puppy and everyone was just out to attack him. He thought Minhyun felt safe with him but maybe that wasn't true either. He didn't know. He thought he was beginning to understand him but now it felt like he didn't know anything at all and it frustrated him as well.

"Minhyun..."

Minhyun blinked in response.

"Please tell me what really happened. Both at the office and with Jonghyun. I'm so close to closing this entire case. I just need a bit more and I'm done."

That was when Minhyun took notice of his laptop bag at the side. He guessed Baekho might have looked through the stuff he had taken for him already.

"They took Aron too. I don't know if he's safe but if we don't do something soon... He might die. Minki almost died too. Minhyun... I really don't want to pressure you but there are certain things that I can't afford to look pass right now. More innocent people might die..."

Minhyun looked away and gripped the blanket. He shut his eyes and breathed in, letting it out long and draggy until he felt his lungs collapse on him. He opened his eyes again and slowly sat up, pushing himself up. Baekho watched him as he curled up in a seated position.

"I'm... Sorry," Minhyun whispered. Baekho almost didn't catch his voice at all. It was so soft, so quiet that it almost sounded just like a whistle barely blown.

"No, don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"I'll...tell you everything."