To Break

III

“Did you know that Reece Parker is going to this party? Reece freaking Parker!” My friend is squealing from a guest bedroom on the third floor. I wince at the audacity of her voice, but also the words that come out.

“I know! Damn, he hasn’t gone to a party in like, a year,” my other friend, Hannah, calls from the ensuite where she is brushing on her make up. My other two friends, Laney and Quinn, are sitting on the king bed with me, doing each other’s nails as I watch.

Laney works at a beauty salon so she prepares everyone for the parties we go to. Well, everyone except Hannah who likes doing everything herself.

“Why do you think that is?” Quinn asks as Hannah struts out of the bathroom. She is wearing a fitted navy dress that reaches her mid-thigh, an outfit that will be complete with heels and a winter coat.

Laney shrugs but doesn’t say a word, too focussed on applying the second coat of polish to Quinn’s nails. I glance down to my bitten down, plain nails and frown, scrunching my hands into fists.

“Maybe he just needed a break from the intense partying?” Hannah asks, taking a seat against one of the four bedposts. I try not to roll my eyes but don’t succeed, catching Hannah’s attention. Reece Parker would never take a break from partying just because he went too hard at it.

“Or maybe it’s just because too many people got scared of him,” Laney says, putting the cap back on the nail polish with a frown creasing her forehead. I know what she means; Reece Parker is someone you never want to be alone with at a party, let alone anywhere less crowded. He is very… Intimidating.

I nod in agreement as Quinn stands up, careful not to touch her nails to anything in the room. As she walks past me she gives me a quick squeeze of the shoulder in encouragement before turning back to the bed to face the three of us. “I need to decide which dress to wear. Can you quit gossiping and help me?”

That’s all it takes for the other two to drop the conversation. I give Quinn my best smile, although I know it is still dismal. Out of the three of them, Quinn knows me the best. She knows everything, which is why she picked this exact time to decide she needed help on deciding what to wear.

I mouth a ‘thanks’ her way and she sends me back a sad smile, before being dragged away by the other two. I flop back on the bed and sigh, looking up to the white netting above the canopy bed.

When will I get better? I wonder, as my eyes roam the cloud-like net. At this stage, it feels as though I never will. With my parents it is a lingering feeling of sadness hanging over us, while with my friends it is accidental comments in conversation.

As if reading my mind, I see a flick of blonde hair out my peripheral vision, and a moment later an impact on the bed.

“You’ll get there,” I hear Quinn’s voice from beside me as she squeezes my hand. “But for now let’s go to the party and have some fun. Okay?”

I breathe in a shaky breath and nod, before Quinn pulls me up and smiles. “Great. Let’s go.”

.

The car is filled with this horrendous ‘music’ as we drive through the thick of the trees. The dirt road makes the ride bumpy as the strong bass comes through the car speakers. At least it seems like a suitable place for a party; trees surrounding us on all sides.

After a few more bumps and squeals we pull up to the house where the party has clearly already started. The music is pumping through the speakers, probably vibrating the whole house with it. People are flowing out of the house and into the vast, empty space surrounding it. As I said, it is a brilliant place to host a party.