To Break

VII

“Rainy.”

This is the twelfth time - and counting - that my name has been called from the opposite end of the slowly freezing shack. His voice started off harsh, but is now turning softer as he realises I have no intentions of answering him.

“Rainy.”

Make that thirteen.

“Look, Rainy-” fourteen “- I’m sorry for trying to make you talk.”

Wait, what? Is that an apology?

I pull my gaze up from my knees and search for him in the darkness, finding his face hidden in the shadow of his hood. I can only just see the bottom half of his face from the moonlight filtering through the wall, but his lips are set with sincerity. I know him well enough to know that he’s not playing a game right now.

“Really,” he says, his voice gruff. I can tell he is hating apologising which should make this all the more satisfactory. “Especially for the song. That was-” he takes a breath “- uncalled for. I crossed a line and I’m-” he pauses again, rubbing his hand across his stubbled chin. “Sorry,” he finally breathes out.

I’m caught with confliction. On the one hand I’m stuck with him for the whole night whether I like it or not, and despite who I’m talking to, it actually feels good to talk again. But on the other hand there is the hatred that bubbles just below the surface, always ready to make one of us explode.

Should I forgive him and try to make this night as pleasant as possible?

Or should I stay silent and make his life even more of a living hell than it currently is?

The good in me takes over and I sigh, before uttering the words, “Thank you.” I’m not about to let him think what he did and said is okay, but I’m not going to ignore the apology, considering how little he does that nowadays.

“So,” Reece begins. “How have you been?”

Of course he starts with the most difficult question to answer.

“Good,” I lie. “And you?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, good I guess. What have you been up to?”

I wince at the generic questions that are a true demonstration of our current relationship. If this is what the rest of the night is going to be like I would much rather not talk.

“Nothing much, really. What about you?” I reply as a shiver rattles my spine. I try to wrap my coat tighter around myself but it’s not possible. I shiver again.

“Oh, y’know. The usual,” Reece tells me with another shrug. I can’t help but screw my face up at how casually he says it. ‘The usual’, ugh.

“Pig,” I mutter, unable to help it from slipping out.

“Excuse me?” Reece fires, his anger flaring once again. “What’s that for?”

“’The usual’,” I quote him, using my fingers as quotation marks. “The fact that you can brush off what you do so casually is appalling. No, it’s disgusting.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you on crack?” He raises his confused voice, only proving my point even more.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I shake my head. “You know exactly what I’m talking about! You sleep with all those girls and don’t even bat an eyelid over it!”

His face brightens in realisation at what I’m talking about, before his dark eyes turn brooding. “Of all people I would think you’d know me well enough-” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. He barks a short, sharp laugh before starting again.