In The Blood

The Truth

(Tim)

"All right," I agreed, Shawna stepping out behind her. "I'm being discharged from the ICU, so I guess I'll go with Nicole and, ah, whatshisface. I—ow!" I yelped when he yanked hard on my arm.

He threw his hands out and raised his eyebrows in a clear questioning gesture. He pointed to me, then to his monitors, gestured about the room, and pointed at me again, eyebrows raised. I read him like a book. I had let it slip that I'd been a patient here in the ICU. He was getting an abbreviated version though.

"I, um, kind of overdid it with my anxiety med," I admitted, rubbing at my eyes again. My contacts must need to be cleaned because I could swear there was a slight haze around things, especially around Rob. Ugh, wonder where I'll be able to get contact cleaner around here. "And coupled with the pain pills for my broken shoulder, it kind of... yeah. Disastrous effects. Breathing is pretty important."

Rob nodded. He pointed to me and rolled his eyes. I accepted the eye roll—I kind of deserved it for not paying an ounce of attention to what I'd been doing to myself. He made a snipping motion with his fingers, which I interpreted to mean 'cut it out.' I nodded. "I will do a better job with my meds. I let it get out of control. But I am with a psychiatrist now and on antidepressants, long term anxiety meds, and PTSD meds. So I'll have less panic attacks and chronic anxiety."

Rob nodded then tapped at the tube in his mouth, his throat, then pointed at me again. Was he asking if I'd been intubated too? I took a stab at what I believe the question was. "No, no tubes down my throat. I was on a vent though. They said I wasn't breathing well at all." I rubbed at my nose, remembering the octopus. "Gave me an antidote to the meds and I came around soon after that. Brain's working better now, mind's on its way to getting better, lungs fully functioning." I blew out a long puff of air into his face.

He rolled his eyes again and gave me a thumbs up.

"So it's resolved and I'm just gonna be in another wing," I explained. "Psych department, under observation. When I get settled in over there with Janna and all, I'll come over here and visit. They let me move around. Or they were, anyway. Maybe my own clothes. they took my belt though so I'll be mooning the hospital." I laughed at myself. I'd expected a smile or an eye roll at my mooning the hospital comment but instead his eyes got huge. Oh shit. Had I said too much? The—the belt—oh God, don't tell me he thought—

I squawked when he slapped at my arm again. Rob lifted his hands to his throat and gently placed them around his neck before pointing to me and looking ready to cry.

"Oh—no, no, no, no!" I was quick to say. "I did not try to hang myself, I promise you, I did not!" I shuddered, suddenly chilled to the arm bone for some reason. Rob nodded, looking relieved. "Not that I want to kill myself. Just a precaution." Clearly, sometimes I just needed to stop talking. And this was one of them. Before I blurted out that I decided to go for a morning run yesterday. In traffic. Halfway hoping a car would turn me into a pancake. That had been a stupid move. If I did get run over and killed, someone else would have to live with the fact that they'd killed me on my own whim. Glad I didn't get struck and killed, that Chance had stopped traffic, that Taylor and Austin had followed me, and that Casey and Sawyer had run out after me, their own lives on the line. Sawyer. I paused, still unsure of what to make of him. An acquaintance, someone I barely knew, willing to die for me. Who the hell does that for someone they just met? Only family and very very close friends. We'd only just met. We may be on our way to being friends, but at this point I would consider him a new friend. Somehow, I was already more than a new friend to him. He was clearly not family to me unless he was a distant cousin. Maybe on Dad's side? I was less close to Dad's side of the family than to Mom's. But even distant cousins don't do that for each other. It was more a parental or maybe sibling thing, as Casey had demonstrated. And if ya really wanted to get technical about it...