This one's for you ~Matt Flyzik~

Chapter 21

  "No, no Matt...please...wake up...don't leave me...please!" I sobbed in my hands, watching Hayley give Matt CPR. "I need you!"
She'd been going for twenty minutes now, she checked his pulse and looked at me with tear filled eyes...no...he couldn't be....gone.

I sat bolt upright in the bed, sweating, gasping for air, tears falling from my eyes. That...it had never ended like that. Usually it ended as Hayley started the CPR, it never...I threw my hands over my face, crying, holding back the sobs. I tried desperately to calm myself down, moving my head slowly to see Matt, faintly, in the dark, next to me on the bed. See, he's ok Ellie, calm down.
I thought coming home would help, but so far it wasn't, although, it was only our first time home, but I wanted these nightmare's over, they where tearing me up inside.
"Matt..." I gently shook him, trying to wake him. I had to tell him, I need his arms around me, I needed him to say the things only he knew how to say to make me feel ok. Maybe if I told him, it would help. "Matt."
"Huh? Baby?" He stretched, rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I-uh-I've been..." Matt reached over, turning the bedside lamp on.
"Having nightmare's, I know baby." He pulled me into his arms, and started stroking my hair and kissed the top of my head. "It's ok."
"H-how..."
"Baby, I sleep next to you every night, you think I wouldn't notice you waking up every night, like someone had been holding you down under water for too long?"
"I'm sorry." I sobbed.
"It's ok baby, I figured you'd tell me when you where ready. What are they about?"
"You...that night...seeing you...laying there...not moving, breathing...u-usally they end when Hayley did CPR...bu-but tonight, i-it went further...and I-I lost you." I sobbed even harder at the end of that sentence, holding him tight.
"Oh baby, I wish you'd told me sooner but hey, I'm here, see." He pulled my hand over his heart. "I'm alive, I'm here, and you're never going to loose me ok? I promise, I'm going no where, I'm right here and I always will be, every night, forever."
"I was so scared."
"I know baby." He lifted my head up so he could look at me in the eyes. "But I'm here okay? And I love you so much, I'm going no where. And one day, we're going to have a perfect house, a perfect wedding, and perfect kids and we're going to one day, end up in an old peoples home, having wheelchair fights, jousting with our walking sticks for shits and giggles. But we're going to have it all ok baby? I'm going to give it all to you."
I nodded. "I love you, so much."
"I love you too baby." He placed a sweet kiss, sealing his promise.
"Jousting with walking sticks huh?"
"Yup." He nodded, "We're going to be an awesome old couple, we'll be the envy of the home. Embarrass the hell out of our kids and grand kids whenever they come visit."
"Sounds perfect." I let out a little giggle, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "You're going to be an amazing dad."
"How'd you know that? I could suck, like, reallllllyyyy bad."
"Because of how you are with Jake, I just know."
He gave a small chuckle. "The little cutie makes it easy, even when he does cover me in his dinner. And you're going to be an amazing mom. I know, no children we have, could be Ash, but they'll be perfect, and you'll be the best mom in the world to them. And I'll be right by your side, every single step of the way."
"Why did you mention..."
"I figured that was bothering you too, you think I don't notice these things, but I do baby. But I'm never going to force you to talk if you're not ready too. I just thought I'd mention that, you did the right thing for Ash, and he'll love you for it, when he understands. But, you can't live in the past and you know that. I can't imagine how much strength it took for you to do that, and one of the reason's I love you is because you're so unbelievably strong. Sure, you stumble, but you always pick yourself up, and now you have me, to lean on, so when you stumble, you can hold on to me and I'll help you find your balance again."
"How did I get so lucky?" My heart wanted to burst at his words, I'd never felt so loved in my life then I did right now, it brought tears back to my eyes.
"Pretty sure you're a witch and have me under some sort of spell...but I love it, so keep me under it please." He smiled sweetly, brushing away hair face.
"With pleasure." I smiled sweetly back and kissed him.
"Want to put something on the TV until you fall asleep?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Ok baby, I love you."
"I love you too." I kissed him once more, before snuggling into his chest as he swtiched on the TV, flicking through the channels, settling for a Dexter repeat until I drifted off peacefully in his arms.