30th [Jikook|Yoonmin]

[15th; Should I]

Jungkook grew up in a good family. He had an older brother that he was close with, and his mother and father loved them both equally. Of course as the youngest, Jungkook was a little bit more spoiled than his hyung but their household was full of warmth and love and it was home.

At least those are the things that Jungkook likes to remember.

His parents are great. They are good people. Although if there is anything that he hates about his parents, particularly his mother, they're a bit traditional.

He can distinctly remember, as a 10-year old kid, his mother holding his hands as she talks to her friend.

'

"What?! Isn't your son a graduate from SNU?! Why would he destroy his future for that... that... guy?!"

Jungkook's mother says, apprehension on her face as he looks at her friend, Souyoung.

"Jiwoo says he loves the boy though. My son... has changed. If it's good or not, I don't know. I thought when he said he's in a relationship, he'd bring home a nice girl. His father had been so mad at him when he brought home his boyfriend. I... I just want the best for my son. My husband doesn't seem to accept it though." Souyoung explained, her eyes downcast.

"What are you saying Souyoung?! A guy and another guy aren't meant to be together. Why, they'd have no future at all! Your son is a smart boy, I know he'll see that being..." Jungkook's mother lowers her voice and almost says the next words with venom "...gay is a mistake. I'm sure he'll come back to his senses soon enough."

and 10-year old Jungkook just listened. Still not knowing what the problem is. Why is his mother so concerned on which people should be together?

But his mother is smart, Jungkook reasoned. 10-year old Jungkook listened to his mother.

Mother knows best after all. 

'

After being a trainee, successfully debuting, and living with his hyungs, he didn't really had much of a problem.

He liked being able to perform and sing and resonate his feelings with dozens of thousands of fans.

What he didn't like is being constantly watched, the media watching like hawks waiting for a single mistake to bring him down. Day in and day out, Jungkook needs to be Jungkook. Not Jungkook, the wide-eyed kid from Busan but Jungkook, Golden Maknae of BTS.

Jungkook can't afford any mistakes. And so he takes a sure route to everything. He's successful so far...

but then there's Jimin.

Jimin doted on him since the very first day. It was fine at first, but Jungkook didn't know when the lingering touches made his stomach revolt, when the innocent cuddles with Jimin made him nervous, when Jimin's playful flirting made him feel all sorts of things that he doesn't know what to make out of.

Jimin isn't a sure route. Jungkook doesn't know what the fuck is with Jimin. So naturally, he avoids it. He sticks to the other hyungs. It was easier that way. Jungkook doesn't have the time to deal with uncertain things.

Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi are great company. They dote on him, although admittedly not as much as Jimin does.

And Taehyung, well, for Jungkook he's different. Taehyung is like Jungkook's older brother, Junghyun. Albeit a bit more playful. Jungkook is comfortable with Taehyung, no matter how clingy the elder is. Jungkook doesn't get that fucking thing crawling in his stomach whenever Taehyung touches him. Jungkook doesn't get nervous, or his hands clammy whenever Taehyung jokingly flirts at him.

So he sticks to Taehyung.

Because Jeon Jungkook cannot afford to make any mistakes. Jungkook isn't a mistake.

"Remember Jungkook, don't become like him. Don't be a mistake like that... Jiwoo. You're a good kid Jungkookie. Just listen to your mother okay? I just want what's the best for you."

"Yes mom."

**

Also i promise ill spam update soon. May my cup noodles cease to exist if i dont update soon. I promise