The Promposal (COMPLETE)

8- Uncertainty

Edith's POV

It's been a few days since my strange encounter with Nolan, and I'm pretty much over it. I've come to the conclusion that I can't let his words bother me. If Jonah is going to cancel, I'll still end up going with Camila and them. And what does it matter, anyway? There's much more urgent matters to attend to. 

Last week I was complaining about the upcoming test schedule, but I'm in the thick of it now. After school I spend hours studying, only to get nowhere with the material. Instead, I find myself just worrying about the tests, which gets me absolutely nowhere. The more I worry, the longer I feel like I have to study, which just gives me more time to worry, and so on. But although I am distracted, I know my grades won't keep themselves up. Especially during second semester. Teachers get more brutal the second half of the year, hoping to fight any lack of motivation by ramping up the assignments and difficulty. 

I am seated in the library studying for a huge vocabulary quiz in literature when Jonah comes up to me. I'm surprised, since I had just been quietly whispering to myself and probably look like a complete lunatic.

"Hey" he says, trying to get my attention. I put down my flashcards and look up at him. For a second I'm caught off guard when we make eye contact, but then I regain composure. I need to act like I don't have a crush on him. I reconfigure my expression into a slightly annoyed and confused one. 

This seems to make him uncomfortable. "I just wanted to see what the plan was, for um... prom." He says the last word extra quietly, like it's embarrassing for him to mention. Although the whole sentence kind of comes out like a whisper.

"Oh yeah, of course. Camila said they were renting some sort of huge limo for all of us, so I guess we'll all just meet up at her or Justin's house to take photos before. There like, 7 or 8 people going?" I explain, realizing that he asked his original question as a follow up to what I said the first time we talked. 

"Yeah, but I was kinda wondering if you expected like a big promposal or something... I know they're pretty common and" he rambled on, which made both of us uncomfortable. 

"No, of course not. That's stupid. But it'd be great if you could pick up a corsage? Camila said all the girls are going to take pictures with them, and it's like some big tradition to have the guy get it." I respond, just waiting for this conversation to be over.

I never thought that a conversation with my long time crush of four years could be so painful. I guess I had always just liked to imagine that Jonah was faking being shy so he could come off as mysterious. It's what boys were like on TV. But from all this, it seems like Jonah is seriously difficult to communicate with. It's kind of a turn off, but I'm still distracted enough by how cute he looks that I don't worry too much about it.

"Yeah of course. Is it supposed to be a specific color, or..." he asks, once again ending in the middle of a sentence.

I pull up my phone to show him a picture of my dress, but notice a bunch of unopened messages from Camila. There's also another one, from Nolan? I'm distracted for a second, and before Jonah asks me if something's wrong I close it. "My dress is dark purple, so maybe one like that?" I answer.

"Ok yeah of course," Jonah responds, before looking down at his phone as well. He looks even more caught off guard than me, and shuffles quickly to get his stuff. "I should get going" he says, and I'm even more curious about what's going on. Did his text messages have anything to do with mine?

"Okay, see you tomorrow in class" I say politely as he heads off. Then, as soon as he's far enough away, I open my phone. I notice one of the librarians glancing over as they see my screen, but I give them a look that says I won't be too distracted and they seem to be okay with it. The librarians are usually really strict about using phones, but I'm on good terms with them so I can get away with stuff more easily than other students. 

I look at Camila's texts first. She seems pretty frantic, but from knowing her as long as I have, I know it's probably not as big of a deal as she's making it. The messages read...

OMG Edith have you heard?? //  Edith pls respond!! // I need to talk to you about this! //

They were extremely vague, so I paid them no mind. The bigger mystery is what Nolan said. The timing of everything with my messages and Jonah leaving seemed so strange, I was starting to become very curious about what it'd say.

What did you get for the challenge problem from the Chemistry homework?

Oh. I guess I was wrong. It's not related at all. But still, I guess I probably should finish my Chemistry homework so I can help him out. I shoot a quick response and then go through the problem before calling Camila. Whatever big thing she was texting about can wait. My grades cannot. 

Once I finish, I leave the library and get strapped into my car. Then I call Camila. She picks up almost immediately, which is strange because she's usually busy doing something. 

"Hey Camila" I say when she picks up. 

"Well it took you long enough" is her response, but I can tell it comes from a good place. Sometimes, I feel like Camila just uses cliche phrases to make herself seem like the main character of a teen romcom.

"So what's the big news?" I ask.

Camila takes a second to gather her thoughts, then responds "there's this big cheating scandal that everyone's talking about. Apparently Cynthia plagiarized her entire research paper for lit, and the teacher found out." 

I'm shocked, of course, but only because she got caught. "Cynthia has been cheating ever since I've known her. What's the big deal?" I respond nonchalantly. 

"What? You knew?!" she sounds surprised, but then immediately returns to her gossiping. "Well anyway, they uncovered other stuff too, and apparently she used to copy quizzes as well." As she explains, I realize what she's getting at.

I used to sit next to Cynthia in one of my classes. I never noticed it, but I guess she was copying my work. In retrospect, I didn't really get good scores on the quizzes we took during that time. I guess that's karma for her. If you copy, you might get a bad grade. The better strategy would be to go for an answer key, but I guess if you're that smart you'd just study for the test instead of cheating.

"Oh wow," is my only response. Then there's a few moments of silence, and I can tell there's something else that Camila wants to say. "Is that all?" I question, trying to get her to spill.

"Well, it's just that I was talking to Justin last week like I said and apparently Cynthia is the person that Jonah was going to ask to prom," she spills. 

"Really?" I ask, now actually surprised. I wouldn't have thought that Jonah's crush would be on someone like Cynthia. She was always doing so badly in class, and honestly just seemed kinda lazy.

"Yeah... look I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later about it?" Camila says, and soon after we hang up. 

I'm surprised by the news of course. But it's not like I was unaware that this situation existed before. I had known all along that I had no real chance with Jonah. What Nolan told me reciprocated that. So this, although hard for me to hear, is nothing new. It's just the annoying comparisons that irk me a little. Cynthia is a cheater and a slacker, so why her? Is she really that much prettier than me? It's definitely a shallow thought, but I mean, first impressions are everything. Maybe Jonah's just into the conventionally attractive, dumb blonde.

Before the self doubt can sink in, I park in my driveway and get back into the routine of studying. It's enough of a distraction to get everything off my mind for a second and gives me time to reflect. But although I feel better, I realize that I'm no longer looking forward to prom. Everything seems like a chore without a purpose. All this effort, for what?

I guess I'll find out when I get to it.