Chiot - H.S. (on hold)

.10 why fall in love when you can fall asleep

a/n: so harry is out protesting and i'm worried. i thought this would be a good time so i just want to let you all know that i absolutely stand with the black lives matter movement, and i hope all of you, protesting or not, are safe. my friend was teargassed in her own backyard a couple of days ago. all of this really makes you think about how much you have to appreciate those around you. if you need to talk to someone, i'm here. i promise. 

***

"So did you call him?" Giselle asked. 

I thought about everything for a moment. It almost felt as though we had all been holding our breaths since everything happened. Giselle held her breath because she knew I didn't want to talk about it, but holy hell did she want to talk about it. Harry held his because he knew I was scared and he didn't want to mess up my life anymore than he believed he had. 

I held mine because I didn't know how to live any other way. 

"Yeah.. I did."

***

Hello?

Hi, Harry.

It's em, been a while. How are you?

I'm.. I've never been better, actually.

Oh. Well that's, em, good to hear. 

I don't mean it like that, Harry. It's just.. I was just listening to the radio and I..

Nancy, let me explain- 

I miss you.

***

"Are you falling asleep?" Harry whispered, moving my hair behind my ear.

"No," I responded, half asleep.

He took a deep breath in, then slowly out. I felt his warm breath in my ear. If I didn't feel the way I felt about him, it would have bothered me. But I couldn't hold back my smile, even in my drifting state.

"Are you sure?"

I knew he was smiling too.

"I'm sure, now tell me." I tried to sound awake and assertive.

"Tell you what?" He asked, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. We had made an art out of sharing a bed. Down to our feet we slept in harmony. Our toes were often intertwined and, when I was feeling particularly playful, we would engage in some adorably weird toe-wrestling. He knew how to go through the motions of sharing a bed with me. When I wanted to roll over and face the other side of the bed, we seemed to shift perfectly in sync. He didn't mind how much I moved, how many pillows and blankets I usurped, he even didn't mind how I mumbled sometimes while I slept soundly.

I smiled. "Cut the bullshit, Styles," I started teasingly. "What do you want to say that was so important it couldn't wait until morning?" I started to roll over, my signal that I wanted to be the big spoon now. But he didn't roll over with me. He just stayed there and watched me move until we were face-to-face. "What are you doing?"

He had his stupid grin on his face. "Now I know you're falling asleep. I can see it in your face, Townes."

"I'm starting to think you don't remember my first name," I mumbled. 

"And I'm starting to think you might be heading off to dreamland, my love."

I looked at him. He didn't think much of what he had said, or at least he didn't until he saw my expression. 

"I'm sor-"

"No!" I put my hand over his mouth. "There's, um, no need.. To say sorry." I took my hand off of his mouth, revealing a half-perplexed, half-endearing  smile. 

We both laughed. 

"So.." 

I let him trail off. 

"Does that mean you, em, are okay with saying that kind of thing?"

Uncomfortable silence really was overrated. But I didn't feel uncomfortable, I felt safe. I felt like we could be, were, in our own little universe. Like we had all the time in the world and more, all to just sit and enjoy each other. 

It had been a while since our lunch date hookup cost me my job. It had been a while since he practically begged me to let him talk to my supervisor, and it had been a while since I had refused. Since he asked if I wanted him around, since I lied and told him I didn't. It seemed like lifetimes ago when I left, when Giselle got home and sat with me while I cried. 

It hadn't been a while since I heard that song. In only a short time, after one phone call, I was there. Home. 

I took a deep breath. 

"I love you." 

***

a/n: so i used one of my imagines (from my sh*tty imagines book) in this. i changed it a bit but it just seemed to fit so well i couldn't not use it. 

also i know time is moving really fast, but i have so so much more to write and i just can't wait any longer to write it. sorry if it sucks. 

stay safe.

black lives matter.