Lost

Chapter 38

Jesy POV:

I'm woken up by the sound of my alarm clock. I groan and release myself from Chris hug to his protest „Hey what are you doing?" he whines. I turn off the alarm „Rehearsals babe." I stretch and get up to my wardrobe „We have a concert this evening where we perform in honor of the black people that died recently from racism and/or police violence." „Awww that's so lovely." He sits up and stares at me „What you staring at babe?" He points at my scars „I can't believe I can call my girlfriend a survivor." I smile and throw on my hoodie and my leggins „Do you wanna have breakfast with me or do you want some later on?" „With you now." „Baba it's 6am and you don't have to." „No I'm awake and I know I'll see you tomorrow when you come home from the concert." He gets up, picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I squeal as he carries me downstairs „Heyyy stop it." we both laugh and he sits me down „Chill ya beans while I make us some breakfast." I pout „You did so much for me yesterday you don't have..." He places a finger on my mouth „Save that pretty voice for this evening." he winks and turns to make breakfast „Fuck!" I jump up „I haven't packed yet." I sprint upstairs and quickly pack some stuff together. My pajamas, water bottles, underwear, towels, my shower kit, makeup... is that all? Snacks. Good. I quickly head downstairs again to see the plates filled with food. A fry up, fruit, yoghurt..."Jeez Chris how long have I been packing?" „Well 30minutes." I widen my eyes and laugh „Clumsy Jesy. I know." he teases „Now have proper breakfast you little bean." I roll my eyes and munch down my breakfast and for once I don't feel guilty at all. He smiles at me and we clean the dishes together. „Ready to go Jes?" He grabs the car and housekeys as I quickly tie my shoes „Nah I don't wanna leave you." „Relax it's only one night. I'll be fine." We sit down in his car and he drives me to the studio. We'll have rehearsals half of the day, then we'll have the concert and then we'll stay overnight. After three and a half months I finally see the Mixmen again. They all look a little confused but as soon as they see me they hold up signs which made me tear up. They said like ‚Jesy our fighter.' or ‚We love Jesy.' or ‚Our fighter came back!' We got out and I let my happy tears come out as I hug everyone. „Look at our happy Jes. The Jes we know." Claud cheers and the girls arrive as well. They squeal and I jump into their arms. „You ready to party Jesy?" „Yasss. Couldn't be more ready." I turn to Chris and pull him to me and kiss him „Bye baby. See you tomorrow." „Have fun babygirl." We pull away and I wave him goodbye as he drives off. I sigh and take my bag inside the studio. The familiar smell of the wooden floor hits me and I missed it. I really missed it. We places our bags in the corner and started rehearsing our routines for this evening. We agreed on wearing cargo pants and a tshirt with the anti racism symbol on it and the hashtag blacklivesmatter. After five hours of rehearsals, we all lay there spread out on the floor, covered in sweat and panting „Let's order some food guys my stomach is killing me." „Oh Pez." we all laugh. This girl and her love for food. But we ordered food and I even challenged myself and ate a whole pizza, which the girls acknowledged. On the way to the bus, Perrie grabs my arm „I'm so proud of you baba." I smile and we enter the little tourbus. Perrie pushes past us and throws her bags on the top bunk „Mine!" We laugh and Jade places her bag under Perrie's bunk while Leigh puts hers on the bottom bunk underneath mine. The ride was rather silent and I listened to some music to calm down my nerves. I was really nervous and the girls could sense it. We reached the arena, made a quick soundcheck and got ready for the concert when Paul claps his hands „Girls get up behind the stage! You're up in 5." We scramble behind the stage and have a group hug after all the time. The arena was silent. Even when we got up. Everyone held up signs against racism. As I read them a sob escapes my lips and Jade quickly wraps an arm around me. We didn't really do that much dance routine because this wasn't supposed to be  a fun concert. We sang Change your life, Little Me, Good enough, Wings, Secret Love Song, Monster in me and The cure. During the cure I couldn't sing. It reminds me so much of my dark time, but the girls and the fans helped me out. „Thank you so much London. We really love you and wanna thank everyone that came to support. We love you goodbye and please get back safe." We blow kisses into the audience as we run backstage. I don't know what was wrong with me but as we entered the backstage area, I felt my legs shaking „L-Leigh?" I see her blurry silhouette turn to me when the room starts spinning, my legs giving in and falling into someones arms...