Lost

Chapter 9

Perrie POV:

I woke up and looked at the other girls. They were cuddled up, sleeping. But I noticed Jesy's sleeve was up and I saw her wrist. I inched closer and looked at her cuts. I gasped and felt tears welling up. Her arm looked horrible. There weren't a few cuts, the whole wrist was covered in them. They weren't just scratches, they were pretty deep. I carefully ran my thumb over them and started crying. I bit my lip to prevent myself from sobbing. The metallic taste of blood spread in my mouth because I bit too harsh. Carefully I got up and went into the bathroom. I leaned myself against the door and sunk down till I reached the floor. I rested my head on my knees and let my tears flow. After I calmed down again, I got up and went into the kitchen. Glancing a look into the living room, I saw three sleeping beauties. I sighed and opened the frigde. I took out milk, eggs, butter and orange juice. From another cupboard I took sugar, flour and colourful sprinkles. I started making pancakes. While the batter was ready, I put two pans onto the stove. One for the pancakes and one for scrambled eggs. I took the batter and made cute heart pancakes. Smiling, I started the coffee machine and prepared the kettle for Jade's tea. After the pancakes were ready, I decorated each individually with sprinkles, chocolate, fruit and whipped cream. I prepared everything well. When everything was set, I woke up the girls. „Girls breakfast." Groaning, Leigh Anne looked at me. She smiled and got to the table. „Wow Pezz you're amazing!" She sat down while I tried to wake Jesy. Carefully I shook her fragile body. „Jess. Bubba. Wake up hunny." She opened her emerald eyes and looked at me. She immediately noticed her sleeve was up, so she instantly pulled it down. I sighed „Bubba breakfast is ready." „Thank you Pezza." She flashed me a weak smile and got to the table as well. Now Jade. Waking her up is a struggle. She hates it. So I ripped the duvet off her petite body and placed a kiss onto her temple. „Jeed. Poopey. Time to get up." „No leave me alone." „I made your favorite tea." She shot up and our heads banged against each other. We laughed and gave each other a kiss onto the hurting area. We got to the table and Leigh Anne was already eating pancakes. „Pezz they're marvelous." I looked over to Jesy and saw her picking with the fork in the scrambled egg. I sighed and sat down finally. „Bon appétit girls." Leigh and Jade smiled and turned back to their food. Jesy just stared at her food. „Babe you're alright?" She finally looked up and nodded. Realising we were watching her, she dug the fork into the egg and led it with shaky hands to her mouth. Right infront of her mouth, she stopped and dropped the fork. She started crying and ran upstairs. We looked at each other and decided that Jade should follow her. Jade got upstairs and looked for her. We both sat there waiting for her. After good half hour she came downstairs again with Jesy. She looked horrible. Red and puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. She sat down and Jade took the fork with the egg again. Jesy took it from Jade's hand and lead it to her mouth again. She glanced over to Jade and she nodded. She finally took the fork in her mouth and started chewing. Jade smiled and nodded. But Jesy wasn't as pleased as Jade was. She looked disgusted in herself. ‚What is wrong with you Jesy? I wanna know. It hurts so much to see you're hurting but we can't help. You're hurting and we can't do anything to soothe your pain.' She put down the fork and looked at us. „Well done Jesminda." Leigh cheered. „I'm proud of ya." „Good job baby." Jesy now smiled. On her plate there was stil her mini portion of scrambled egg. But we're okay with that. She finally ate again. I could sense there was something else with her but I don't know what. We cleared the table and cleaned the dishes. „I'll just take a shower girls. You can choose a film." Jesy got up and went upstairs. We waited until we heard the water running from above. Jade turned towards us and started. „Well girls. With Jesy. I don't know what we should do. In the bathroom she told me that she can't do this anymore. She didn't specify but I guess she means her life. And I'm worried sick she might kill herself when we expect it the least." I saw tears forming in her bambi brown eyes and I immediately pulled her onto my lap. „Babe I don't know either. I think we all can sense something is clearly wrong with her but we don't know what and what we can do. But I miss the old Jesy. The laughing became less and more a faked one, she barely eats, she is cutting, she is crying a lot like really a lot and it's so unlike her to break down for little things. I think she should see a doctor." „Pezz I know you're worried but if we force her, it won't do any good. She is going through a heartbreak at the moment." „Yea Leigh is right Pezz. Would you be happy and dance around if you got your heart broken twice? I bet you wouldn't." „Yea you're right girls. But... I'm just so worried about her and I don't wanna lose her." „We're all worried Pezz." There was a moment of silence. But what we didn't notice, that Jesy was there already and heard some things we said. „What are you worried about Leigh?" We snapped into her direction and looked at her. I could see sadness in her eyes. „Answer please. What were you talking about in my abscence?" „We..." „You were talking about me behind my back didn't you?" I could hear pure sadness and disappointment in her voice. I think we hurt her. None of us answered. She sighed and turned around. She went upstairs again. We followed her. We heard sobs from her bedroom. We tried opening the door but it was locked. I put my ear onto the door. A lump immediately formed in my throat. If there is one thing I can't stand is, hearing my friends cry. I looked at the other two. „She's crying heavily." Jade took out a bobby pin and opened the door. We saw Jesy lying on her bed. She was wrapped up completely in her blanket and cried hysterically into her pillow. I never saw her like that. The last time she cried like that was when she and Jake broke up. But this time it was even worse. She could barely breathe and started hyperventilating. She didn't notice our presence yet. I walked carefully towards her. Sitting down, she looked at me. Her face was tear stained and she moved away from me. I tried taking her hand but she yanked away. She got off the bed and walked towards the window. „Babe... what are you gonna do?" She opened it and jumped. We screamed and looked out of it. Jesy got up and ran down the streets. We sprinted downstairs and got into Jade's car. We drove around but we couldn't find her...

What will happen? Will they find Jesy or won't they find her?