Poems for Soft Hearts Full of Longing

Spiraling

It starts with one bad thought

Like "Did I say something wrong?"

And then it goes to "Why isn't he texting back?"

Then you rationalize. 

"He must be busy." Or "He'll text me back soon." 

(And five minutes turns to ten, ten to thirty)

And suddenly you're checking every other second. 

And you know you're being stupid

But you just have to check. 

See if he's seen it,

See if he's online

See if maybe he just missed the text

(At least him ignoring you is a response)

And your thoughts keep going faster

"Did he lose interest? What did I do wrong?" 

"Maybe he was just being nice and doesn't really like you like you thought he did?" 

But you rationalize again and take a deep breath

You remind yourself you both have lives

(He can't pay attention to you 24/7)

Then two minutes later you're worse off then you were before

Your thoughts racing

So many emotions

Then your phone dings...

It's not him. 

It's just some app you use to pass the time

Your lives are refilled and it sends you a little heart

(It feels like even your phone is mocking you)

It dings again,

It's just your brother asking for a snack

Even though he's in the kitchen and in his early teens

Finally, that third ding is from him. 

"Sorry, I forgot about your text..." 

It says, an apology for forgetting you even said something in the first place

(I guess maybe no response was better.)

                                                                              -A. G. 

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I know plenty of us girls and guys have experienced this. Not a fun feeling is it?