Dayshift At Freddy's Oneshots!

Dialtown, Babey!

(I didn't want to write someone with six nipples, so Phonegingi is different. Sue me.)

"Hello, hello h-" the orange phone said, before his red friend turned him around. Alice waved at the two of them. The orange one waved back.

"Look. Roger. Love ya to death, but you have got to work on those nerves! Surely saying 'hello' just once would work just as well as three times, no?"

The orange phone nodded, looking past his friend to Alice. "I know, Peter, it's just- the green one is looking right at us. I think she wants something."

Alice waved. Again. The red phone sighed.

"Well, turn around and ask the nice lady what she wants."

The orange phone mumbled something and turned around. "H-hey miss, nice to meet you. The name's Roger."

Alice shook his hand. "Hey, Roger. My name's Alice."

"I'm. Roger. Hi." Roger chuckled, shaking his head. "I already said that, didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"Silly me. So. Need something?"

Alice nodded. "Yeah. I bet a friend twenty bucks that someone would take me to the funfair, but I have neither a date nor friends other than him."

Roger froze. "Aw, j-jeez, I'm flattered, really, but our lunch break's gonna end really soon, so we've gotta get back to work."

Alice sighed and turned to the red phone. "Et tu, red-head?"

The red phone shook his head. "First off, my name's Peter, and second off, I'm married."

Roger whispered something about a woman named Caroline to Peter, to which he shoved his hand over the area where Roger's mouth should have been. "Shut it."

Roger stepped back when Peter took his hand away from his face. "Whoops, my bad, that was on me."

"Anyway, anything else?" Peter asked. "Our lunch break'll be over any minute now, and the moment it ends, we're officially back on the clock. So. Ask fast."

Alice shrugged. They wouldn't be late. "Who are you two, anyway? What do you contribute to the world?"

Roger took a step back. "Th-that's an existential question. What- what is a man's worth? His m-merits, his morals, his legacy-"

"I think she wants us to tell her about the daily grind, Roger."

Roger's alarmed expression slipped off his lack of a face. "Oh! Sorry, sorry." he pointed to his left. "We work at the Dialtown Mechanics Plant. The old one, off Main Street."

"The one that used to be a Crown Mechanics before the rebranding." Peter added. "Anyway. Back to him. Continue, Roger."

Roger nodded. "Peter and I work there together! He does assembly, and I'm his manager!" he pointed to himself proudly. Alice gave him a skeptical look.

"You're his manager?"

"Yep! Y'see, one afternoon, our old manager ran onto the assembly floor, with a whole bunch of papers and said our plant was gonna go through some changes and one of us was going to be promoted to his old position." Roger said.

"Had he been promoted?"

Peter shrugged. "To a corpse, yes."

Alice's eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Shit."

Peter nodded. "Nasty bit of business, that. Turns out the guy had ties with the Dialtown Mob, and the cops had finally caught up with him. He ended up jumping out of a four story window onto one of the trampolines we had just manufactured." the phone shook his head, sighing. "What a lousy way to learn that the trampoline machine wasn't making any actual trampoline parts, aside from the frame and the springs."

Roger started fidgeting with his tie. "I was so worried that the cops'd just start shooting at me. I figured, Phone-lord, i-if he could pass his old job to me, he could pass his crime to me, y-y'know? Roger cleared his throat and looked up, past Faith. "Regardless, I persisted and made it through with a brave face!"

Peter shook his head. "Didn't you hide under a desk crying for the entire thing?"

Roger turned to Peter. "Well... yeah, but she didn't know that!"

"Say, why'd he pick you to be manager, and not your friend?" Faith glanced at Peter. "He seems far less... incompetent at being a person?"

"Oh, the old manager said it was for my diligence and expertise!" Roger chirped, head back to being held high. Peter shook his head.

"Roger's assembly line was closest to the door, and thus, closest to the manager when he entered."

Alice nodded. "Okay, this is making a lot more sense, now."

"Speaking of, we've got to get back to the plant." Peter said, pointing to his left.

"Okay." Alive smiled. "By the way, Roger? Nice hat." She turned around and started walking away, but still heard Roger's awkward, stuttering response.

"Oh, thank you, miss. H-have a nice day!"