[iη]secure || lookism x male of

midterms ρt. 1

OKAY HIIIII GUUYYSSSSS!

IT'S MY BDAY.

I'M 15 NOWWW.

NOW CONTINUING.

--------------

📘🔗📍

Midterms.

Now that I think about it, I remember conversations about it earlier when I was hiding in my depression corner..

-flashback, 3rd pov-

"Hey, so Daniel, you're a boxer." Zack says, leaning back on his chair, forgetting about the sad Hae-Seong literally bawling rivers in the corner of the classroom, "You're mean. Let's fight again."

Daniel denies the claims and Namsoo seems to be glaring at Zack with envy.

Yui comes up to the table, ready to flaunt to Zack, "Zack~ What's up? Wanna test-prep together?"

"No thanks, I don't study."

-end of flashback-

Those words were ringing in my ears like a broken radio player.

'No thanks, I don't study.'

It was almost as if I was gifted with everlasting wisdom, ah never mind, my brain's tiny, fragile cells couldn't cope with such intelligence.

So it all adds up now..

My senses are alerted back to my friends sitting with me at the table as Daniel coughs, waving his hands to see if I'm still alive and responsive.

When my mind sets back on the words, 'tests', 'exams', and 'midterms', a tear runs down my eyes.

It's alright.. I just need to get a better score than Zack.. it's not that hard..

In my past life, I had a few somewhat unique nicknames.

They got quite popular around the school and I got teased quite frequently for it.

'Mr. I-have-no-future-ahead-of-me.'

'Mr. I'll-probably-repeat-ten-years'

'Mr. I-won't-get-a-high-school-diploma'

And to be fair, they were quite accurate.

I'm sure the highest grade that I have ever gotten was a C-.

Quite good, you say?

It was on attendance.

"It's okay.." I mutter softly, with tears dripping down my cheeks, "I don't need a future, I'm rich.."

Jay rubs my shoulders softly as Zack pokes my forehead harshly which makes me wince.

"Stop whining around, you've probably got a better future than me.."

"Yeah, you're right.."

"Don't agree so easily!" He yells, with a slightly upset tone.

Then next day comes around, and I hit my head on the table, groaning in despair.

Jay pats my back, trying to reassure me a bit.

I hear Daniel's voice, "So since you're the top student in the class.. could you help me study, Jay?"

Right.

With Jay, I have hope..

"Me too!" I yell clinging on to Jay's arm, leaving him flustered.

He flushes crimson red and agrees to help me and Daniel out.

"Is this how you substitute?" Daniel asks, slowly understanding, "Like this?"

I don't understand anything.

Substitute?

Like soccer?

"It's okay, I'll rely on someone rich, my granny loves me right..?" I mutter to myself, "I don't need a job or a diploma, I'll just never work a day in my life."

Jay ruffles my hair slightly and I pull him into a warm embrace.

"Will you still be my friend even if my grandma gives up on me and I end up working for McDonalds?" I say, looking up to him, pouting.

He chuckles lowly, which catches me in pure surprise.

"HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK-"

He blushes uncontrollably and seems nervous.

Daniel stares at him with envy, biting his lip, after giving him a look of surprise.

Jay continues to help Daniel, leaving me to lie my head on the table, scribbling random formulas that I hadn't known before.

'40 - x = (5^3 - 17) ÷ 3. x = 4'

Jay glances at my notebook, giving me a face full of shock.

Jay POV:

It's right..

Hae-Seong hums, stretching his arm out on the desk lazily.

He taps his fingers on the hardwood, making a soft rhythm.

...but it's grade 8 algebra.. we're in high school.

"Why do I even bother.." he mutters, running his fingers through his hair with his free hand.

He draws a pencil out of his leather backpack, before sketching a cute chibi version of Daniel and I.

I grin slightly at the sketches, feeling quite special.

(a/n: stream feel special by twice)

Daniel soon leaves, and when I peek to check on Hae, I find him sleeping peacefully.

I stare at the beauty for a few seconds, before looking around, precautious.

Once I realise that I'm in an empty classroom, I lean into to him, pecking his cheek lightly.

I flinch back, realising what I had just done and bang my head on the desk.

The noise is far louder than I expected it to be and it wakes up the sleeping angel.

The angel that could transform into lustful temptation, I guess.

Hae POV:

I yawn, stretching my arms out in the air, glancing at Jay who's staring out of the window.

"Huh? It's the end of school already?" I say, struggling through my yawns.

Jay nods, leaving a small smile on my face since I'm excited to go home.

When I flick through my phone, checking my most recent messages, I see invites to the library.

One from Daniel, one from Zack and one from Vasco and Jace.

I text them all the same thing, copy and pasting as I am lazy and unoriginal like that.

'No point of studying when I'm probably dumber than Zack/you.'

I can already visualise their reactions to this.

Disappointment from Daniel, anger from Zack and empathy from Jace and Vasco.

I get one my motorcycle and head home, greeting my maids and butlers as I enter the vast mansion.

I run upstairs, changing into my cotton pyjamas.

I jump on my bed, spreading my arms out, closing my eyes.

Silk sheets welcome me, and I drift off to sleep.

After a few days, my nightmare has arrived.

Something that could possibly ruin my self-esteem, even though it was as low as I thought low could get.

The exams are here.

-982 words, ty for reading-