eighty-four ,, gallavich

iii

III.

Ian wakes up with his face pressed into Mickey's neck. Mickey has an arm around Ian's waist, his hand resting on the small of Ian's back, and Ian's legs are tangled with Mickey's. He's comfortable as fuck, and even warmer, so he just presses his face back into the curve of Mickey's neck and falls back asleep.

Ian is only half-awake when Mickey gets out of bed, and Mickey's, "Go back to sleep," sounds very distant, as does the lingering touch to Ian's neck. Ian wakes up around twelve, and Mickey is gone. Ian touches the indent in the pillow from Mickey's head, feeling some strange sense of regret. There's a part of him in this moment that misses Mickey, and there's a part of him that regrets that this isn't fucking real. He gets up and checks the phone. January 1st.

Ian sits back on the bed, considering. He has to be living this day for a reason, right? Otherwise, why would it keep repeating? He looks down at his phone, looking at Lip in his contacts. He doesn't want to call Lip, though. But then he sees that he has three missed calls from Mandy and calls her back.

-

It takes him a little longer than he expected to find the cafe she's talking about, but it's on campus. Ian wishes that he remembered something about this life, because then he'd remember where shit is.

Mandy is sitting in the back of the cafe, called Rita's, and smiles when she sees him. She looks way better than how Ian felt this morning, hair pulled back in a French braid and two coffees already sitting in front of her. It's weird for Ian: he and Mandy have been best friends since their first week of college, and it's weird to see her almost two years into the future. She doesn't look too different, but her hair is lighter, more brown than black, and she has a different air of maturity around her.

"I have your favorite," she says when Ian sits down, pushing the coffee in front of him. He takes a sip, and it's good, he guesses, but apparently it's his favorite in the future. "I figured you could use it," Mandy continues. "You drank a lot last night."

Ian grimaces. "I know. I have the headache to account for it." Never mind that he doesn't remember the drinks that got him the headache, but whatever. He smiles at her, raising the cup of coffee in her direction. "Happy New Year."

She clinks her cup against his, repeating "Happy New Year" to Ian. Ian watches all the other people milling about in the cafe, wondering what their lives are like two years ago. Is their life better than it was two years ago? Is it worse?

"Did you sleep well?" Mandy asks. "I called you like three times, but you didn't answer." She sips her drink, smirking. "Or was Mickey keeping you up?"

Ian stares at her, shocked for a bit. "There is something seriously wrong about you commenting about your brother's sex life," Ian says.

"I was asking about your sex life, Ian. It's not my fault that you happened to shack up with my brother." She raises an eyebrow at him, which is similar to how the Mandy he knows does it, but now Ian also knows it's similar to how Mickey does it. "So, was he?"

"No," Ian replies. "We were asleep til late, but then he left and I slept some more. What about you? Sleep well?"

"No." Mandy grins like the Chesire Cat. "Karen was keeping me up." Ian gets the innuendo and he's happy Mandy is getting some, so he grins right back, even though he has no idea who Karen is. "Hey, are you okay?" Mandy asks, peering at him a little more closely. "You seem . . . strange."

Ian tightens his grip around the coffee cup. "Strange?" he asks.

"I don't know how to explain it," Mandy says, "but there's something different about you."

Ian feels like there's something caught in his throat. He wants to tell her, because Mandy is his best friend, and he knows that he can trust her. "Okay," he starts, licking his lips. "I don't remember anything."

Mandy furrows her eyebrows. "Don't remember what? Last night?"

"No, I mean . . . anything. I don't remember yesterday or the entire last year." Mandy is frowning at him. Ian can feel his heart beating faster. "I don't remember ever dating Mickey. I don't-"

"Wait, what?" Mandy interrupts. She looks very upset, and Ian digs his nails into his palms, feeling slightly scared. "What the fuck do you mean, you don't remember dating Mickey?"

"I mean-"

"You haven't told Mickey this, have you?" Mandy says. "Because your anniversary is in six fucking days, Ian, and this-whatever the fuck you're doing right now-is not fucking okay."

Ian stares at her, speechless for a second. His and Mickey's anniversary is in six days? January 7th? Mandy continues to look pissed (and slightly worried), so Ian immediately begins backtracking. "I only meant-fuck, I didn't mean that, Mandy. I just meant that it's gone by so fast, you know? It just feels like yesterday that I was first meeting Mickey, or we first kissed. It feels like I don't even remember the last year. And now our anniversary is in six days. It just went by so quickly, you know?" Ian swallows, looking away. "I mean, imagine Mickey and I being together for ten years. Right now, that seems fucking crazy. But by then, it'd seem like those ten years went by quickly. And I just-that seems crazy, you know?"

Mandy is still giving him a weird look, but she nods. "I guess that makes sense." She scratches a spot above her eyebrow. "I was worried for a second, you know. I thought you might break up with Mickey or something."

"Break up with him?" Ian says. A little too loudly, if the stares the tables around him are giving him say anything. "I don't-" Ian swallows. "I don't ever want to do that."

Mandy leans back in her chair, looking less angry. "I thought I was just about to have a heart attack. I mean, I heard you whine about Mickey for months, and then you claim you don't remember anything? Fuck."

"Yeah." The coffee suddenly doesn't taste as good anymore. Ian pushes the cup of coffee away from him. His one year anniversary with Mickey is in six days, not that he'd ever get there. "Fuck."

-

Ian returns to the apartment at around ten-thirty. After going to the cafe, he and Mandy had hung out, going to see a movie on campus and then walking around campus. They'd sat down on a bench in one of the quads (Ian had actually recognized it, thankfully) and talked for what seemed like hours. It felt good, Ian realized. Everything felt easy in the next two years, easy and simple, and for a long moment, he'd felt warm and content and like he'd never want to go back.

Mickey is in bed when Ian walks into the room. Ian considers sleeping on the couch, remembers that their anniversary is in six days, and decides against it, feeling like if he did sleep on the couch, it'd send the wrong message to Mickey. Then again, Ian won't wake up in the next day, only a repeat day. But he doesn't know if that applies to where-if he sleeps on the couch, will he wake up on January 1st on the couch or on January 1st in the bed?

Ian mulls it over while he's brushing his teeth. He wouldn't wake up on the couch, he thinks, because that means that the events of New Years Eve would change, too. And he's always woken up naked in Mickey's-their-bed. So he could do it, sleep on the couch. The result would be the same.

Ian doesn't go through with it. He can't go through with it. He stares at Mickey on the bed, lying down on his stomach and his hand clenched in a loose fist by his nose, and pulls off his shirt, sighing. He shucks off his pants too and climbs into the bed, careful not to disrupt Mickey, but Mickey wakes anyways.

"Where were you?" Mickey mumbles. His voice is rough and hoarse from sleep, and his hand finds Ian's hip. Ian shivers and presses closer to Mickey's body heat.

"Hung out with Mandy all day," Ian replies, shifting closer, Mickey's hand slipping to Ian's back. Ian thinks it should be awkward to be in bed with Mickey, because he doesn't really know him, but it's not. It's easy, something that just clicks without much thought.

"Mmm," Mickey says, and Ian laughs, breath huffing against Mickey's forehead. After a pause, Mickey says, "She good?"

Ian can't even describe the feeling running through him, the thoughts racing through his head. He's in bed with Mickey Milkovich, his best friend's brother, and he keeps waking up in the same day, and Mandy is so beautiful and happy in the future. "She's amazing," Ian says.