eighty-four ,, gallavich

vi

VI.

Ian wakes up and stares at the ceiling. For once, upon waking, Ian doesn't feel panicked or worried. He feels calm and sure.

Mickey head's is on Ian's stomach. Ian guesses that it'll get uncomfortable soon, but for now Ian allows it, cards his fingers through Mickey's hair. He thinks about yesterday and regrets it immensely that Mickey won't remember yesterday. The thought hurts physically, as Ian imagines the hours they'd rocked together and spent kissing and touching each other. Mickey won't remember, and Ian loses his fucking breath.

But.

But Ian thinks he gets it now. He remembers Mickey's words from last night: "Mostly I just let it be. I just let things happen the way it was supposed to. I went for it and waited to see how well it would turn out." Ian's beginning to think that's what he's supposed to be doing, too. He's not here for some almighty purpose of changing his destiny, and he's not in the future because everything's gone terribly wrong and he needs to understand what he has to fix when he goes back in the past. He's just here. Ian thinks that was the way things were meant to be.

Stop being so confused by everything, stop asking so many questions, stop trying to do anything, really, to try to understand the future. Ian's not supposed to understand it, he's just supposed to see it. He's supposed to see how happy Mandy is, how good his family's life is in the future, and how great he and Mickey are going to be. He's just a passerby.

So Ian is just going to let things happen, and watch, and wait and see how well it turns out.

-

Mickey wakes forty-five minutes later, back of his head completely messed up from bedhead, and Ian kisses him just because he's got a sinking feeling in his stomach telling him that his hunch is right.

And if his hunch is right, this is his last day.

Mickey leaves for his econ group, and if Ian pushes him against the counter with his hips and kisses him messily, desperately, then it can just be put up to Ian's headache. Or something.

He calls Lip after Mickey leaves, listens to the sound of his voice and the certain language he uses. He knows his brother so well, and it comforts Ian that he can recognize his moods even now by the way he talks.

He calls Fiona next, asks her how her New Years was and enjoys the different story she tells. He asks her about Gus and how she and him are doing, he asks about how well Debs is doing in school and in her social life, and he asks about how Carl's doing in school and his newfound bisexuality. He tries to get her to laugh as much as possible, because he feels that Fiona will always deserve as many as she needs.

He calls Mandy then, asks if they can meet for breakfast or lunch or that ugly word in between. He meets her at Rita's but they order food and talk and joke around, talking about classes and the people in the cafe with them and how each of their families are doing. Ian asks her about her plans for the New Year and what her resolutions are and catalogues every smile and smirk and laugh. He asks her if they can hang out later, and suggests that she bring Karen. Ian decides upon meeting Karen that he likes her, likes the way she jokes and makes Mandy laugh, likes the way she stares people down while holding Mandy's hand.

Ian returns home and Mickey's just finished making dinner, and they eat it on the couch while watching some detective show that hasn't come out yet to Ian. After they finish eating, Ian cleans their plates as quickly as possible so that he can lay down next to Mickey on the couch, resting his head on Mickey's chest.

When they go to sleep, Ian watches Mickey sitting on the bed while checking his phone. He walks over and pushes Mickey's phone to the side, and Mickey looks at him, confused. Ian straddles Mickey's lap and kisses him, pays careful attention to Mickey's upper lip, his lower lip, delves inside with this tongue and chases any bliss of wet, of heat, of Mickey's tongue sweeping across his own, of Mickey moaning into his mouth.

Mickey's fingers pull Ian's shirt drastically to one side, fabric stretching over Ian's back, and Ian clutches onto Mickey tighter than normal. "I want this," Ian whispers fiercely, not defining what this really is. "I want this," he whispers again and again, pressed into the dip of Mickey's bottom lip like he's sealing a promise, and Ian fucking means it. He wants the meetings with Mandy in coffeeshops and the key to Mickey's apartment and Mickey in his bed every night. He wants it all.

Ian stays up until the last possible minute, talking to Mickey and then eventually just watching him sleep after.

Ian closes his eyes and holds onto Mickey tight.