His (BxB)

Part 17

I try to move my feet to walk away after realizing that I've been staring at the disturbing scene for a little bit too long. It's not that I want to take my time watching them, I just feel like I don't have the energy to do anything else besides standing still and crying. I can't believe this is happening. I love William so much that it hurts. But I never know that this feeling can also make me feel like I'm being crushed into pieces, together with my crumbling reality. And this is the exact same feeling that has been providing me with a sense of warmth and security all this time.

He never stops making effort to constantly remind me that I've always been wanted by him, desired even. Everything that he's been doing this whole time is trying to convince me that I am somehow important to him. Are those lies? I really want to ask him that. But right now, I can barely even make a sob. I feel suffocated. I know I have to leave right now. Not sure where to go, I just want to be anywhere but here.

I turn around and drag my feet, one step after another, away from that place. I do it silently, not because I do it on purpose. It's because I really don't know how to react right now. My tears are still flowing non-stop and I have no idea how to stop it. I walk slowly and aimlessly, passing near the tent and the table settings. I don't really look at anyone that I come across with. I just wish that no one will notice my tears and start asking.

I know that I've walked far enough as I finally reach the parking area. Now, there are almost twenty cars that parked here, including William's. My heart lurches as his name is being mentioned again in my head. I keep walking, following the row of cars until I reach the end of the row. There's a tall tree near the last car on that row. I stop under the tree because there's no way I can walk any further. This is the end of Jess' parking area.

What am I doing here? I can't possibly go home walking right now, can I? Without telling Jess, she will be worried. And William... William will be furious.

This is the moment when I just break down into tears. No one will hear me anyway. I don't care if I'm now turning into a sobbing mess. I can't hold it any longer. My chest hurts so bad. I just want to cry the pain out of me this very instant. I have no single clue of what I should do. I guess no one would know what to do if the ground that they're stepping on is suddenly crumbling, right? That is exactly what I feel.

"Louis?" Says someone from behind me. I recognize the voice immediately. That's why I choose not to turn around and face him. I don't want him to see me. I stop my sobbing immediately.

"Move along, Ethan. I don't need any of your sadistic remarks. Not right now." I counter him bitterly, even though I know it might cost me being his punching bag. Somehow it doesn't bother me as much as usual. I don't even care if he's just beat me to death right here.

"Were you crying?" He asks again.

I give him no response. I don't know how long he's been standing there before he decided to talk to me.

"Where's your boyfriend? Why is he not with you?"

Boyfriend. I think my boyfriend is getting another boyfriend. Of course, I can't tell him that. Not after William parading our make out session in front of him just now. A mere thought has successfully sent me back to crying again. I try so hard to hold my sobbing but fail miserably. Now, I sound so pathetic. And helplessly disgusting. I really want to go home right now.