poetry

Poem one

Warnings:
Child abuse
Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse
Physical abuse
Depression
Anxiety/fear
Self harm

Please don't read this if you get triggered by any of these things

This is a rough draft, I will probably edit it at some point. Please be patient because I am in a situation where I've had to get the police involved because of my stepdad so I may not be able to update a lot.

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I look in the mirror
I don't see myself
The girl looking back
Looks like she's gone through hell

I stand there just looking
She doesn't look well
She looks like she's dying inside but nobody else can tell

She's broken and crying, doesn't anyone care?
She's done this so many times, self harming isn't rare.

She's shaking, she's scared
There's nowhere to run
She just stands there and cries
Til her stepdad is done

He yells and he screams
She stands there and cries
Some time passes, she decided to be strong and wipe her eyes

She packs up her stuff, thoughts running through her head and memories of some of the things he's done and said

Her friend's driving over now, she sits and she wonders
How her life became like this

She realises she can't remember most of her life
Her stepdad has been more abusive since losing his wife

"You're worthless, you're useless!" He screams drunk again
She braces herself for a hit, it's not surprising to see he's been down the pub again

He finally goes away as her friend pulls up in the car, they grab her stuff and put it in
She's going away somewhere far.
She feels like her world is caving in.

They drive away from her hell, her home, her whole life she felt she was on her own with memories that feel like they're not her own.

Not able to take all her stuff but she's stronger now, enough's enough.

Her memories her trauma all running through her head
She's finally just grateful she'll get to sleep in a bed

She feels a little safer now because she's getting way
Convincing herself the chances of being found are like a needle in the hay

I will not stay and be abused. Be hit, scared, threatened, so my stepdad is amused.

I always felt so scared, so alone but I've found a place to call my own

I've found my place in this world, I'll this story that was left untold.
I finally have amazing friends
And never let my life be like that again