Nameless

Chapter 14 A matter of feeling

Author notes: English is not my first language, so please forgive my mistakes and awkward writing. This is NOT for profit. I don't own them. AU (as in Alternate Universe) and maybe OOC (as in Out of Character). Characters belong to their rightful owners.

Author notes 2: Thanks to @SunnyAlSorna and @JJSin2020 for editing this. All remaining errors are totally mine. Thanks for your votes and comments, they really motivate me to keep writing.

Author Notes 3: The song is A matter of feeling by Duran Duran, give it a chance. It fits this chapter.

Chapter 14. A matter of feeling

Yi Bo was restless. Zhan had sent him a text message letting him know he got home okay, but something undefined kept nagging him at the back of his mind.

He wasn't an intuitive person by far. But somehow, he felt danger was lurking around them. He was worried sick for Zhan. He had felt uneasy since last night. Both of them were spooked by the strange feather that fell down from the sky and the gust of wind that preceded it.

Last night's events were indeed the opening of a can of worms. He felt it in his bones. For someone who averted touching at any cost, this sensation on his skin was unsettling.

He had gotten up earlier than usual, taking his usual shower and getting ready for his day. His Business Management tutor was supposed to be at his home at 10:00 am. By now, he knew Zhan's schedule by heart. His friend was supposed to be at the counseling center at 9:00 am today. He watched the clock, it was already 9:30 am. He had time before his tutor arrived. He decided to call the counseling center and asked for Zhan, who was his caseworker for the time being anyway.

He didn't want to call Zhan on his cellphone earlier, afraid of looking too anxious, besides when Zhan worked at the center, he always turned his cellphone off.

His call was connected, but it wasn't Zhan's voice that answered. He asked who they were and what had happened to Zhan. Politely but curtly, the woman informed that Zhan hadn't shown up for work today. No more explanations were given to him. He thanked her and hung up.

He tried Zhan's cellphone with no success. Damn! What was happening? He had always had these feelings of inadequacy because of his phobias, but today he felt really crippled. He needed to go out and look for Zhan. He needed Zhan, dammit!

And just like that, it hit him. He was not just attracted to Zhan. There was more. An underlying feeling in his whole being. He was in love with him. Man! How the fuck did that happen?

What was he going to do? Last night he had felt the impulse to kiss Zhan. It seemed that Zhan wasn't against it, but it didn't happen. Now Yi Bo felt uncertain. Would Zhan feel the same? Was he attracted to men? Was he attracted to anybody?

Zhan had talked to him about his problem with emotions. His mitigated feelings about everything. He barely felt something. He was taking therapy for that particular problem. Dr. Lu had even recommended he enroll in an art class as part of said therapy. Zhan had chosen painting. He had started a couple of weeks ago. He seemed to enjoy it. But taking an art class and letting someone enter your heart wasn't the same. Not even close.

Would Zhan feel something for him? He would feel awful if Zhan couldn't, but he would not pressure him. It wasn't Zhan's fault after all. He just went and fell stupidly, madly in love with him.

But he had more pressing things to solve at the moment - like locating Zhan. He was tempted to ask their family's driver to take him to Zhan's home, since he knew the address. But he knew their driver would ask his mom, and it would be difficult to convince his mother to let him do that. She would be afraid of risking a panic attack.

She knew he was much better now, and that Zhan's friendship had helped him to improve. However, he knew her well; she would never risk his wellbeing, not for Zhan or for anyone for that matter.

Getting really desperate, he tried to call Zhan's cell phone again, almost praying for him to pick up. No answer. Meanwhile, his Business Management tutor arrived, but he excused himself arguing he felt sick.

He called Zhan all morning, worried sick about his wellbeing. He swore, if he saw him again, he would talk to Zhan and confess his feelings. If Zhan rejected him so be it, he would plead to remain as friends at least.

Yi Bo knew Zhan well enough to know he wouldn't deny him that. He had reached a decision and he would stand by it.

Finally, around noon, Zhan answered his phone. He sounded sleepy, which was strange itself since Zhan always woke up at 3:33 in the morning and had never been able to go back to sleep.

"Zhan! Thank God! Are you okay?" Yi Bo asked, desperation lacing his voice.

"Whooa...what?" Zhan sounded extremely confused.

"Are you okay," Bo insisted. Something was off. "It's past noon, Zhan. I've been trying to reach you all morning."

He didn't want to add he had been worried sick, or that he felt he was going to die if Zhan was not well. After a while, Zhan seemed to react.

"What do you mean past noon?" he asked confused. Then, looking at his clock he read 13:25 pm. Crap, what had happened to him? His problem had always been lack of sleep. He hadn't overslept for more than a year!

"I'm okay, I guess. I really don't know...I'm sorry for worrying you, Bo."

Zhan still felt disoriented. He had been exhausted last night and went directly to bed, but he had also felt like something was oppressing his mind. Now that Zhan thought about, he had been feeling that way for a year now. Since he started waking up in the middle of the night.

Yesterday, that...sensation went away. He didn't know why or what exactly it was. But right now he didn't care. Taking an inventory of his body, he felt light and rested. What exactly had happened yesterday?

Yi Bo was somewhat calmer, but still needed to see Zhan and talk to him face to face. It was a promise made in the midst of desperation, but a promise nonetheless, and he intended to keep it.

More terrified than he had ever felt, he addressed Zhan. "Can I?...Can I ask you a favor, Zhan?" He requested hesitantly.

Zhan's thoughts were clearer now. He detected doubt in Bo's voice and a note of fear Since Zhan knew Bo as a self-assured, confident man, he was curious as to why Bo sounded like that. If something worried him, it must be serious.

"Sure, Bo. Whatever you want."

"Can you come and visit me, please?" Bo was almost pleading. He needed to see him. He needed to finish what was started yesterday.

"Yes, give me an hour to shower and get changed. I also need to call the counseling center to explain my absence."

"I'll be waiting for you," Bo said in a longing voice.

For some strange reason, Zhan missed Bo at that moment. He got off bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready.

He made the necessary calls to the counseling center and got out of his home.

Bo was expectant at his home. This was it. He would confess to Zhan. He hoped against all odds that Zhan could feel something for him. That was it, just a matter of feeling.

Zhan was distracted when he left his home. Walking towards Bo's house, he bumped into a stranger. He tried to apologize, raising his head he started to say, "I'm so..."

The words died on his lips as he saw a breathtakingly handsome man, with icy blue eyes and long blond hair looking at him.