Maybe I do love him but screw that. I don't want to stay here... I don't like it here at all. It's a pretty house and they're rich okay I get it. But I want my life back. I want my sister back... I wanna talk to her again.
I need to sleep so I can dream of her. This movie is so boring I don't even need to try that hard.
I close my eyes and sleep.
"Azul, you need to go to bed amor" I hear a voice. But it wasn't Mar's. I open my eyes to see Erick. The room is empty so he can talk to me. "don't wanna. Want Mar" I say like a baby. " I know you miss her. I am so sorry" he says and takes my hand in his "Let's go to bed. I'll sleep in the guest room" he says.
" I want to talk to her. I must sleep" I say "good, and you can sleep. In our bedroom. Da le (come on)" he says and picks me up.
He puts me in bed and leaves. I feel bad that he sleeps there and I sleep here. He deserves to be here too, he saved my ass. But anyways nobody can know that he didn't take my virginity that day... I fall asleep and hope ill get to talk to Mar.
"good morning princess, I came early just to kiss you and tell you your beautiful before everybody wakes up." I hear erick say. "good morning" I say "how did you sleep?" he asks "well, I slept well" I say. "okay babe, what do you wanna eat for breakfast?" he asks. "I don't know, I am fine with everything. For real.." I say coldly. "Amor, tell me. What's bothering you?" he says "nothing! Really... It's nothing." I lie "I can hear your heartbeat rising, you're lying to me." he says "you can hear my heartbeat??" I say surprise "yes. I can smell, hear, and feel everything about you"
He says and I step away "then stop. Stop smelling, listening and feeling everything about me. I wanna go home." I say "Amo-" "ERICK! I wanna go home" I cry. "Babe, please don't cry. I am sorry you c-" "Can't go home. I know. I know that you also can't do anything. You can't do anything about nothing that happens here. Not Mar, Not the heat, Not me cu- Not the kidnapping! Nothing." I say. I almost blew it and said I self-harmed.
"Not you what?" he questions "Me nothing." I say angrily"and DO NOT change the subject." I yell "Azul. I know you're lying! Stop lying. You said 'not me cu-' what did you wanna say?" he is mad, I can hear it in his voice, he knows I'm lying so he has a pretty good reason being mad.
"I was about to say not me cu-" I stop and think quickly "Yes?" he pushes it "-rrently terrified of you and you're stupid boss" I slip out smoothly. "You are lying!!" he yells and hit the wall, he cracked it, with his fist. I stand there surprised and just look at him.
"Azul I am doing EVERYTHING I can to make you happy. I risk my life for you like an IDIOT all the time. And you can't even tell me what is going on with you? Why is my door open for you all the fucking time and yours is always shutting in my face?" he says angrily and sadly "Because I don't have to tell you everything! Now leave me alone." I say and run to the bathroom.
I found the knife under the towels and start cutting small cuts on my hands. "Azul, We need to talk. Right now! How the hell do you expect us to solve things if you always run away when something is wrong?" he says "We don't. Leave me alone. Maybe I must stay here, but I don't have to talk to you." I say.
"then ill talk, can you at least listen?" he says frustrated. I spit a little "go on" and he sighs " I didn't mean that, I barely remember what happened when I was in heat. I'm sorry!, about Mar you know I would've died too. I couldn't do anything in so sorry! And I don't know what is that thing you're hiding but if you'll tell me, maybe I can do something to make you feel better" he says "you can't. Now leave." I say coldly.
I hear him stepping away and I cry. Another knock on the door. "Erick! I said I don't wanna talk! I said LEAVE" I scream "Azul. It's me." It's Tef. "leave please" I cry. "no, I won't leave." she says and unlocks the door. I pull down my sleeve immediately but it was too late. She looks at me shook and immediately locks the door.
"Azul, what have you done?" her question is echoing in my mind, I look at her with my dead eyes and shook my head. " I don't know" I cry. "Azul, no, stop it" she says and she starts to tear up as well. "Leave Tef, please. And don't tell anyone" I beg " I won't leave, and I won't tell either. But you have to tell." she says and pulls me close into a hug.
" I don't want to, I know that if I'll tell Erick ill lost every last drop of privacy I still have here, I don't wanna be treated like I baby" I cry quietly "they don't allow any kind of self-harm mi amor, he will punish you for it, but if you'll keep this is secret and he'll find out himself, you'll be in big trouble." she says and wipe my tears away.
"girl? Are you ok in there?" Richard knocks on the door. "yes we're fine!" I yell. "okay, we're gonna have breakfast in a few minutes so just finish there and go downstairs" he says and leaves. "You have to, they'll smell your blood." she says. "do you have any way to hide to smell?" I ask "yes, take some warm water with soap. It might sting but they aren't supposed to smell it" she says "how do you know all of that?" I ask, she looks down and sighs "been there..." she says and helps me settle it up.
"it should be fine, I hope it will be. Their sense of smell I much better than the time when I was doing that." she says. They might smell it, maybe I can go tell them I'm going to bed cause I'm tired.
I go down and Erick sends me a small smile. So cute... Ugh I really love him. I'm mad! But love him...
I sit next to Erick but after a few minutes I sigh and get up. "where you're going?" Erick asks "I'm not feeling well, I'm going to bed" I say. "do you need anything?" he asks "no. Nothing." I say coldly and turn around "wait Azul" my heart was beating fast, I'm so scared to stay here knowing they might smell it. "what Erick? Can't you just leave me alone?" I yell "okay I'm sorry" he says sadly. I feel bad hurting him like that. He just tries to help.
"Azul wait!" Erick says again "WHAT?" I yell in frustration.
"what's that smell?"
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