life isn't fair
you'd think that with the number of times i've heard that, it would get easier
it hasn't.
it's gotten harder.
because before it was like society was out to get me.
it was out to get all of us.
it was out to get the girl who lives across the street.
the boy who walked past me on the way to class.
the mother of two who goes to the cafe everyday.
the father who always runs out of his house so he isn't late for work again.
because before i wasn't alone.
maybe because now it feels personal.
maybe it's because when i look into your eyes,
i see the stars.
i see constellations i secretly hoped that one day i'd be able to trace on paper.
i see every time i lied on your chest and tapped my fingers to the rhythm of your heartbeat like it was my favorite song.
i see every party i've been to where amongst the sweaty crowd of bodies, the only one that mattered was you.
i see our past and it's like our happiness is tangible.
maybe because when i look into your eyes, i see everything but a future.
maybe because when i look into your eyes now, the stars have burnt out.
because you gave me your all.
and it's so unfair that it still wasn't enough.
because i knew there was always going to be something standing between me and happiness.
and every time i swore it was going to be me.
so how is it fair that when i finally got a glimpse of everything i wanted and expected to see you there with open arms—
you were the only thing in the way?
YOU ARE READING
paradoxical
Poetryyears worth of teenage and young adult angst transferred from a ratty old notebook to this app --for anyone who also feels like everything they do contradicts the personality that they desire to be perceived as
