No Light: 3 Lives, 3 Worlds , Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms AU

Part 9: Merely

But would it be better? To go back to the life he'd been leading before? A life bereft of colors, emotions, adventure?

Ye Hua gazed unseeingly at the flames before him, barely noticing the warmth they cast on his body, his mind feverishly working to untangle his own state of mind.

Was he ready to give it up? The woman and the alliance? Was he ready to disappoint the Heavenly Emperor and insult the Fox Clan? Was he ready to give in to his fears? Was he ready to go back?

The features of his face tightened imperceptibly, hinting at the rising tension. His control was so strong that no hint of his emotions ever got through; at least it had been until she'd come into his life.

Since he'd met the Goddess, she'd caused him to be frustrated and amused, irritated and intrigued, uncertain and interested. She'd caused a maelstrom of emotions inside of him, the type of which he hadn't felt since he'd been a young child, before he had learned how to control every part of himself. She'd made him realize that this alliance could be more than just an alliance, it could become a real relationship. She'd made him . . . yearn for more.

Time spent with her reminded him of his dreams, and the sense of completeness, of caring, of tenderness from another. Those dreams had come to him with increasing frequency over the past three centuries. Upon meeting the Goddess on their wedding day, for the first time he had felt those same emotions while awake.

It was as if he had known her before he'd ever met her. As if she was the one he had dreamt about. The rational part of him knew it wasn't possible, but upon meeting her, it was as if he'd met that dream being.

He sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his heart, trying to dampen the fire he felt burning inside. When had it become a fire? To add to his confusion, whether she was near or far, she had his complete attention. She made the fire inside of him burn even hotter, and that made him uncomfortable. It made him want to escape and to get closer until there was nothing between them.

He repeated the question. Was he ready to give up the Goddess? Was he ready to give up the chance to ever really feel anything again?

. . .

. . .

No.

Regardless of the time she had spent as Si Yin, the past was the past. High God Mo Yuan was gone.

And Ye Hua was here.

Why should he care about a past that was long over before he even came into existence? Ye Hua had spent millennia working hard to be better at everything than anyone else. He had earned his right to be the Crown Prince. He was here today, engaged to the Goddess, because of who he was. And fear would not push him into running away, not fear of his emotions, nor fear of her past, nor fear of the legend he'd been compared to for his entire life.

He took a deep breath, counseling himself to be better. Silence had been his companion for too long, but if he wanted the Goddess to be his, he would have to speak up.

After spending time with her, learning her quirks and habits, her strengths and weaknesses, he knew that he wanted to keep her.

Who was to say that she wouldn't want to keep him in return?

~*~*~*~*~*~

I stepped into the clearing, my eyes immediately going to the hut. It was the same building, sturdy, unbowing even after the millennia that had passed since its construction. Time had been kind, as I had not been. How long ago had I been here? Decades . . . maybe a century. Seeing the red flutter of a curtain at the window, I couldn't help but step closer. Red had been that mortal's favorite color.