Sidnaaz Bebasi

Chapter 4

Sana - kya ?

Sid- operation ke baad tumhari memory jaane ke 75% chances hai matlab partial memory loss bhi ho sakta hai ya puri meomory bhi jaa sakti hai ya tumhe sirf kuch hisse hi yaad rahe aisa laga doctor ne ye nahi bola ki  memory chali jayegi mano meri jaan jaa rahi thi koi aur option bhi nahi tha .

Bohot mushkil tha wo decision tum ready nahi thi kyuki yumhe pta tha ki mai nahi reh paunga aise ki tum meri nazro ke saamne ho par anjan ki tarah meri puri life tum se dhuru hoti hai sid hai sirf uski naaz ki wajah se naaz nahi to sid nahi sab jaante hai ki mai tumhare bina nahi reh sakta aur tum anjaan ki tarah baat karo mere se wo bhi nahi seh sakta tha dono ki kaam mere liye impossible jaise the aisa laga koi aoption hi nahi hai par chahe jo ho mai tumhe kho nahi sakta tha mai tumse  door shyd jee loon ye soch kar ki tum sahi salamat ho par tumhare bina meri saansen hi ruk jaayegi mera dil dhadakna band kar dega .

To maine doctor ko bola ki wo operation ki tayari karein par tum nahi maan rahi thi maine bohot samjhaya maa ne di ne sab bohot pareshaan the kyuki tum zidd par adi thi ki tum operation nahi karaogi tum kisi ko bina bataye hospital se aa gai thi mai bohot darr gaya tha aisa laga maano ki tumhe kho dia hai kyuki tum bohot ziddi ho jab tumhe koi cheez pasand nahi aati ya tumhe koi kaam nahi karna hota hai to tum nahi karti ho pure hospital mein dhunda kahi nahi mili pura din sheher ke chakkar laga rahe the hum ghar aaye tum waha bhi nahi thi samjh nahi aaya ki ab kya karu to mujhse aur raha nahi gaya to mai iss ghar mein aaya pura andhera tha aur jab maine light kholi to tum ek kone mein chup kar baithi thi aisa laga tumhe dekh kar jaise jaan wapas mil gai ho mai aaram se tumhare paas gaya aur haath lagaya tumhare cheeks par tum ro rahi thi .

Flashback:

Sid- baby mai jaanta hoon ye bohot mushkil hai bohot hi bura waqt hai ye mai nahi jaanta ki humari life mein kya hone wala hai kya hoga mai aur tu kaise handle karenge par itna pta hai ki mai sab kuch bardasht kar lunga par tere bina nahi reh sakta hoon mai door reh lunga tujhse par tere bina nahi mai nahi jaanta tere bina jeete kaise hai mera din tujhse shuru hota hai jab tu meri bahoon mein hoti hai subha subha mai tere sir mein haath pherta hoon tu apna face meri chest par rub karti hai phir dheere dheere aakhen kholti hai aur  pehle mere chest par phir mere cheeks par kiss karti hai  mai tere liye chai aur khud ke liye  coffee bana kar lata hoon tu meri lap mein baith kar aur bohot saari baaton ke saath chai peete hai aur mai tujhse sirf sunta hoon aur jab tu chup nahi hoti hai to kiss kar deta hoon wo sab ke bina meri subha nahi hoti hai .

tu mere saath gym sirf isliye chalti hai ki baaki ladkiyaan mujhe na taade  teri possessiveness tera gussa jab koi ladki 2 second se jyada mujhe dekh le aur un ke saamne mujhe kiss karke jatana ki mai tera hoon wo sab ki aadat hai mujhe .

Subha subha tere haath ka naashta jo tu mere haatho se meri god mein baith kar karti hai uske bina mai kaise jee paunga din mein pta nahi kitni baar call karta hoon tujhe wo bhi bina kisi kaam ke mera din nahi guzarta tere se baat kiye bina  soch kar bhi darr lag raha hai ki mai kaise wo sab karunga jo maine kabhi socha tak nahi hai .

jis din se tu meri zindagi mein aai hai meri zindagi bann gai hai meri duniya hi tu hai mere liye to meri duniya mujhse chin sakti hai par mai tere bina nahi reh sakta tu meri nazro ke saamne to hogi na par tera na hona mai soch bhi nahi sakta tu samajh rahi hai na jaan .

Sana- pta hai piche kuch dino se chakkar aa rahe the vomit jaisa lag raha tha aisa laga ki humara bachha wapas aa raha hai humare paas mujhe laga ki tera birthday bhi aane wala hai next weel agar mai pregnant hui to wohi gift dungi kyuki mai jaanti hoon tujhe bachhe kitne pasand hai aur kitni besabri se wait kar rahe hai hum apne bachhe ka tu bolta nahi hai par mai jaanti hoon ki tu bhi bohot wait kar raha hai humare baby ka .

Par ye kya ho gaya ye kyu ho raha hai humare saath kya galat kiya hai humne kisi ka bura kia hai kya ya kisi ka dil dhukaya hai mai jaanti hoon ki agar meri yaadasht chali gai tu rioz tadpega roz ye soch kar marega ki mai tere saath nahi hoon ek dusre ke bina aaj tak kuch kia nahi hai socha nahi hai mujhe kuch yaad nahi hoga par tujhe to sab yaad hoga na mai to shyad kuch na feel karu par tu mujhe apne saamne dekh kar kaise pal pal tadpega wo kaise hone doon mujhe marna manzoor hai par tujhe aaise tadapta hua nahi mai nahi kar paungi ye jaante hue ki teri kya halat ho jaayegi .