When the Sun Rises

13

"Joke time ba 'yan, Nikka?" I said as tears flowed down my face, I couldn't contain the pain I was dealing with anymore. "Sabihin mo namang joke time lang oh." Pagmamakaawa ko.

She looked at me with so much pity. "Sana nga, sana nga joke time lang."

"I'm sorry.." Mahina niyang sambit. "A-akala ko ba.." My voice was already cracking, I brushed my fingers through my hair and looked up the ceiling forcing myself to calm down but I just can't.

"Akala ko rin, Aine. Akala namin lahat."

"B-bakit..bakit ganon? Bakit..biglaan. Putangina naman, sana sinabihan ako para nakapaghanda naman ako oh." I frustratingly said. "Kaya ba siya umalis? For fuck's sake, parang manganganak na si Serena! We've been fucking for what? 3 months? 4? I don't know!"

Napansin kong pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga kaklase ko kaya I looked down para umiwas ng tingin sa kanila. Napangunahan ako ng mga emosyon ko at nakalimutan kong nasa classroom pa pala ako.

I sighed deeply pero speaking again.

"Does Ate Queenie know? Kuya William?" I calmly asked. "Si Ate Queenie unang nakaalam, Aine. Nag-aalala siya sa'yo kasi I think she knows. Si Kuya William, hindi pa namin nakakausap kasi busy pa."

I nodded, I tried diverting my gaze anywhere I could pero tangina, ayaw tumigil ng mga luha ko.

"N-naging..kabit ba ako?" I muttered. Nanlaki ang mata ni Nikka at she shook her head immediately. "No! God no!" She exclaimed.

"Wala kang alam, Aine. Wala tayong alam. Ang alam natin break na sila, single si Bruce. It's not your fault." She reassuringly said pero I wasn't reassured.

I'm bothered, ayaw maalis sa utak ko na..I was a third party. Kerida, kabit, ahas..whatever you want to call it, nandidiri ako sa sarili ko.

Parang ayaw mag function ng utak ko sa dami daming pumapasok sa isip ko.

Talo na nga ako, mas lalo pa naging talo.

"Aalis na lang muna ako. Parang hindi ko ata kaya pumasok sa klase ngayon." I muttered. Nikka just nodded silently and let me go.

I walked out of the classroom, not even minding that the professor was already walking towards our classroom.

Ayokong ipilit ang sarili ko na mag aral at umaktong okay lang ako when the truth is, I'm shattered to pieces and hindi ako makakapagfocus ng maayos sa klase kung ang iniisip ko lang ay si Bruce, Serena, their baby and our story.

Everything was suffocating me especially now na may exams kami coming up tas malalaman ko yung ganito.

Sana naging bingi ako, sana naging tanga ako, sana naging manhid ako..puta, gusto ko lang mawala.

"Ganito pala mag mahal? Tangina, kung ganito pala ayoko na mag mahal." Sarkastikong sambit ko sa sarili ko habang naglalakad papalabas ng school habang nakayuko.

"Aine, inom?" Malambing na sambit ni Isabelle pagkatapos ng exams namin. I gave her a small smile and shook my head.

Nagligpit ako ng aking mga gamit dahil ayokong magtagal dito sa skwelahan. "Are you okay? Palagi mo kaming ni rereject sa inom ah." Sabi ni Isabelle and she placed her hand on my shoulder. I glanced at her and she was looking at me from head to toe.

"Pumapayat ka rin, Aine." She worriedly said. "Worried kami nila Gill, lahat kami actually."

"Okay lang ako, Isa." I said in a low voice at umiwas ng tingin.

It's been 2 weeks simula nung nalaman ko yung tungkol kay Bruce at Serena.
Dalawang linggo na rin ako araw-araw umiiyak..kada gabi, pag gising, habang naliligo, paminsan sa gitna ng klase kaya bigla bigla nalang ako lumalabas ng classroom.