𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐄 ▸ HUNGER GAMES [ 1 ]

TWENTY NINE

TWENTY NINE -

I barely sleep at all that night, and when I do I am woken by my own screams. The mutt that resembled Glimmer tearing me limb from limb, only she's joined by another one that wasn't present at the chase to the cornucopia. This one is bigger than any of them, glowing like gold beneath the sun. His lips pull back from his razor sharp teeth in a snarl as his eyes lock with mine. They are glacial blue and cold as ice.

I bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring down my back as a bone-chilling cry rips from my throat. I don't know how long it goes on for, but I'm vaguely aware of Sidonia bursting through the door of my bedroom in black silk pyjamas, eyepatch nowhere to be found. She shakes me hard to pull me from my stupor, and I gradually regain some semblance of reality.

Glimmer and Cato are both dead. Glimmer and Cato were not turned into wolf creatures. Glimmer and Cato would never hurt me. And even if they wanted to, they couldn't. Glimmer is dead. Cato is dead. Cato is dead.

None of it helps.

"What do I do, Sidonia?" I ask her, hands braced in a crown about my head. Digging my fingertips into the healing wound above my brow helps to keep me grounded. It's almost worrying how reliant on pain I'm becoming in order to stay sane. "How am I supposed to make them believe we're friends?"

Sidonia looks at the carpet. For a moment, I think she might be genuinely afraid. Perhaps this is the point she realises that her and Haymitch's plan is a lost cause. It might not be so difficult for Katniss – after all, her 'romance' was faked all along. But I think even the girl on fire noticed just how impossible this act is going to be for me. He did love me, and I did love him too. No, I do love him. That hasn't stopped just because he's gone.

"Well Cato managed to fool the entire country into believing he was a complete jerk for eighteen years." Sidonia jokes. I despise the tiny smile which cracks across my face. But before I can even stop it I'm crying and laughing all at once, and Sidonia is pulling me into a hug, and I feel like I might not be all alone in this. There are people other than Loren and Cato I might be able to rely on, even if it never seemed that way until now.

"It's not gonna be easy back home." She sighs, fixing me with a sad smile. "But I guess you've already figured out that's why I'm here. I knew this year was never going to end well the moment both of you stepped up on stage. I may not be in the Academy, but I have friends who talk."

I'm racking my brains, wondering who she means, when it suddenly dawns on me. "Xavier...."

"Doesn't shut up about you two." She finishes, chuckling to herself. "His best students, he always says. His best students who should've been dating for two years at this point. He's constantly telling me how much you and Cato reminded him of us." She looks away for a moment, a strange wistful smile creeping onto her face.

"You and Xavier dated?" I question, brows furrowed.

"Back in the day." She admits. "Everything changed when I went off to the Games. I came back home a different person." The smile disappears and she sighs heavily, shaking her head slowly. "That's what happens to us victors, we're never the same after the arena. We've all had to kill a part of ourselves in order to survive."

She reaches out a hand to thread her fingers into mine. It's only a small comfort, but it's enough. "And however long we spend trying to rebuild it, I don't think it ever quite fits the same."

° ° ° ° °

Sidonia and I stay inside my bedroom, sending the Avoxes to fetch us some breakfast, until Augusta and Luciana arrive in the apartment. Luciana pulls me into a bone crushing hug whilst Augusta rattles on and on about moments throughout the Games. The way they cried when they thought Thresh was going to kill me, and cheered when Cato saved me. And how they never would have figured out Katniss and I had been working as a team the whole time. Which means I guess nobody has told them the truth. Even my prep team believe that I'm a snake.