Calming A Racing Heart

Chapter Four

          Joshua woke to find himself in a hospital room. It took him a few minutes to remember why he was here. He put his hand to his chest, feeling the slow, steady beat of his heart. After all the years of dealing with his accelerated heartbeat, he found this a bit disconcerting.

          Why now?

          What could have caused his racing heart to calm?

          Then the memories started flooding back. Two hands holding his, filling all his empty spaces with warmth. The longing he felt had changed too. Now it had a face at the center of it, a pale, heart shaped face with black hair and intense green eyes. He desperately needed to find that man again. Needed to touch him again. He was certain he would never feel normal without that man in his life.

          Joshua's father rushed into the room, probably alerted by the monitors that Joshua was awake. Jonathan Moore was furious.

          "What the hell is wrong with these people? How can they possibly say there's nothing wrong with you?"

          How many times had Joshua heard that over the years? After what had happened the night before, Joshua was sure that what was wrong with him had nothing to do with any medical science his father had access to.

          "I'm fine, Dad. Just calm down." Joshua started to get up, but his father pushed him back onto the bed.

          "Fine my ass!" Jonathan was yelling. Joshua had never seen his father so agitated. "We are talking about your heart here. "

          "Dad, my heart went from normal to super-fast and we never found out why. Now back to normal. What's the problem?"

          "Joshua, you are my only child, my only family. I can't let anything happen to you. I couldn't take it. Not after losing your mother.  You are staying here until someone figures out what i wrong with you."

          Joshua was surprised that his father would mention his mother like that. He never made casual reference to her. Still, he couldn't let his father's sudden sentimentally deter him. He had to get out of the hospital and begin his search.

          "I'm sorry Dad but I'm not staying here another minute. I've spent enough time in hospitals to last me for the rest of my life. I have things to do."

          Joshua got out of bed and, easing past his dad, went in search of his clothes.

          "You're not going looking for that man, are you?" The vehemence in Jonathan's voice shocked Joshua.

          "Of course. I think he knows what's going on with me." Jonathan was silent as he watched his son get dressed and head for the door. When Joshua tried to leave, he found the door wouldn't open. He looked at his father questioningly.

          "You are not leaving here until I have your word you won't go looking for that man. You won't go anywhere near those horrible, disgusting people."

          "What?"

          "You heard me, Joshua. I want your word you won't go looking for that man."

          "Really Dad? You're grounding me? What am I, ten?"

          "I forbid you going anywhere near any of those people. Do you hear me? You don't know what they are like."