My Step-Father's Love

Stay Away

"We're going to hell."

He looked at me and said "Well if we're going we might as well have some fun doing it."

I scoffed and said "I'm serious! We can never do that again!"

He rolled his eyes and said "You keep saying that."

"Because it's true Alexander. Or should I say dad?"

He winced and said "No you should not. Unless you call me daddy then it's okay."

I shook my head and got dressed. I was filled with so much shame and I hated it.

"Where are you going?"

I glared at him and said "To church! I expect you out of my bed by the time I get back. My mom should be back any moment so I would hurry before she sees your necked ass runing out of my bedroom."

I grabbed my keys and went to the cathlic church a few blocks away. I've never been big on religion but...I did believe that there is something bigger than me and I wanted to have all my bases covered with the possible big guy upstairs. I walked in and a priest came over to me.

"Can I help you child?"

I looked at him and said "This is a judgement free zone right?"

He raised an eyebrow and said "I'm not the one to judge you my dear. God does all the judgement."

"Well he already knows what I did."

"It can't be that bad child. But I will not judge you. Step into the confession booth."

I looked at that small cramped space and said "I'm actually afraid of tight spaces. Can't we just talk out here?"

He nodded and took me to his office.

"What do you seek forgiveness for my child?"

I laid my head on the desk and said "I have no idea how to start this confession buissness."

He chuckled and said "First timer?"

I nodded.

"Just say what you need to. I can tell it's killing you."

I sighed and said "I've commited a sin."

"Tell me."

"I had relations with my soon to be step father."

I heard his breath catch in his throat and I said "I know! It's bad!"

"Not as bad as you think, child. How long has it been happening?"

"Only this one time!"

He said "Three hail marys."

"Thank you."

I stood up and said "This stays in this room right? No chance of anyone else hearing about this?"

"Not at all."

"Thank you."

I walked out but not before doing that cross thing with the holy water. Like I said I'm trying to stay in the big man's good graces. I just need to figure out what Hail Marys are.

I walked into the house and heard "Where did you go Beth?"

I looked at my mother and said "Church."

She looked worried. I hadn't been to church in a very long time. She didn't approve of me not going but she could never make me go. She went faithfully! I swear this woman is so saintly that if Mary didn't brith Jesus, my mother would have been the next best choice.