It's 1.31am // GOT7

Chapter 1 - I like you (난 니가 좋아)

?: How have you been? We all miss you, you know. I miss you.

This last sentence strikes her straight through the heart. Why would he do this to her? She missed him too obviously, she missed him so much it hurt every night. This time of day when she is a prisoner in her own mind. She hurt him and didn't see any other choice than leave. Leave him, her job, her life. Being here with him is such an effort for her but she can't stay away anymore. She needs something, she isn't sure what yet. To her, there are two options: either he will accept her apology, take her back in his life with all that comes with it, whatever that will mean. She will be content as a friend. The other option is that he couldn't forgive her, he will tell her to go away and she may have a chance to move on. In any case, she is prepared to be unable to control the emotional rollercoaster waiting for her. She has tissues in her pocket and her inhaler.

A year ago

Today is one of these lovely, perfect spring days. It hasn't rained in a while and the grass, which would normally be a luscious vibrant green in the city parks at this time of year, looks like it has already started to burn. The sky is bright and an occasional light cool breeze is a reminder that summer is not here yet, even though there is a definite feel for it.

They have left the building, walking next to each other. You can tell from their proximity that they are familiar, but there is no sign of intimacy between them. At first sight, they both look quite relaxed and their pace is slow, insinuating they are going for a stroll rather than somewhere for a specific purpose.

Looking closer, you can tell there is something happening, even though no words seem to be spoken. Her pace matches his, as she seems to aim at mirroring his body language. Her nervousness is only visible from a couple of details. Her arms swing casually along her body with her fists closed and her fingers occasionally rubbing on each palm, looking as if she was trying to channel energy through them, like one of those anime heroes, maybe courage. Added to this, her eyes discreetly check on him, on where he stands alongside her, so she can adapt.

On his side, he seems calm, oblivious to her, checking his surroundings, looking up, his attention caught by the interesting shape of the clouds dancing above him. He smiles, until his thoughts are interrupted by her.

J: I'm glad you agreed to come, Jina says.

YJ: What?! Youngjae says surprised.

J: On this walk.

YJ: Of course, he responds with his otter smile and closed eyes.

His answer could have reassured her, but it's not the case. Swallowing her saliva, she seems to need to gather courage.

YJ: Are you okay?

J: Yes, she hurries.

Seeing her sudden enthusiasm, he seems suspicious from her answer.

YJ: You can tell me if something is bothering you, he says looking at her. I know we don't know each other well but you can confide in me, if you feel comfortable.

J: Thanks.

They continue walking in silence but he is no longer lost in nature's wonder and his attention is now focused on her.

YJ: Listen, I can tell you want to tell me something, so why don't you tell me. You'll see you'll feel much better once it's out.

How could she tell him? It's too much for her to admit and it could change everything. She could lose her job. And her job is her life, her colleagues have become her friends. Why did she ask him to go for a walk though? Somehow she knows the situation cannot continue, as it is affecting her work , her ability to focus. She needs to tell him, but is now the right time? After thinking over the many outcomes of such revelation, she decides that it will not be today.