Reckless Decisions of Youth

4

Luna Fernandez

The thing about being a foster kid is that you rarely have a voice. Often times if your foster parents want this then 99% of them will be it.

It was still early when I heard my tablet ring and I figured it must be my mom since she's always video calling this time.

And sometimes the hard part of being adopted is that, they must know every decision you make, every choice you make and every thing you do.

"I heard Charm and Lezly will take Architecture, how about you?" My foster mom asked while we were video chatting.

"Hindi ko pa alam ma eh." I said without hesitation but then her face changed.

"Why? You're friends already knows what they want. Bakit ikaw hindi mo pa alam?" She asks in a cold voice and disappointment was visible.

"But I'm also considering Architecture po." Agad kong sinabi para hindi nanaman humaba ang usapan.

Well, I was really considering Architecture pero hindi rin naman kasi ako magaling o marunong man lang sa drawing and average lang rin naman ako sa math.

"Think about it because you'll be studying in Manila." Muntik ko nang mabitawan ang hawak kong tablet sa sinabi niya.

What the fudge? Why all of a sudden sa Manila niya naisipan akong ipasok?

"Ma bakit sa Manila pa? Pwede naman dito dahil dito lang rin mag-aaral sila Charm and Lezly." Sabi ko sakaniya pero mukhang wala siyang narinig.

"You passed in CEU and FEU right?" Tumango nalang ako. I didn't really wanted to take the entrance exams but she told me that it'll be a great experience so I just tried it for her sake.

"You're auntie is an alumni in CEU and she's an instructor there, thought it be better in your papers if you study in Manila."

I mentally face palmed myself at gusto ko nalang rin ibaba ang tawag. Mas gugustuhin ko nalang sa FEU kesa sa isang school na laging reported ang mga galaw ko. Where's self development in there?

"Ma, I think sa FEU na lang ako mage-enroll kung sa manila ako mag-aaral at mas mura doon." I cursed myself when I realized that I shouldn't have said that. She frowned when she heard about what I said.

"You know I can afford to send you in CEU." I kept my chill since I understand that she just wants the best for me.

But I really didn't mean that, when I absentmindedly said FEU, its because if I didn't say anything she'd send me straight to CEU.

"I know ma pero naisip ko lang rin na mas makaka-lessen ng expenses lalo na't for sure magbo-boarding house ako." I tried to explain and she stayed silent for a minute.

"Don't think about the expenses anak, do you like CEU or FEU?" She asked.

"CEU is great ma but I prefer FEU. Kasi feeling ko mas matutulungan nila ako in building myself." I reasoned out but if staying was a choice of course I'll choose to stay. I really don't want to go in Manila.

"Ma pero mas maganda sana if dito na lang rin ako mag-aaral." I tried again but she only stayed silent for a while then what she said made me sigh.