Reckless Decisions of Youth

3

Celestia Faith Ramirez

It's almost 3 AM but I'm still wide awake. It's already hard that I'm asthmatic and anemic but also having insomnia really annoys me so much.

"Celestia, paano ka nalang sa pasukan?" Ginulo ko ang buhok ko habang nakatingin pa rin sa kisame.

"Ang sakitin mo naman." I sighed as my high school memories came crashing in my mind.

Hindi ako pwede sa mga activities na nakakapagod, that means almost half of my high school life consists of sitting alone in the bench, spending my time with my inhaler, sometimes fainting and of course missing out a lot of fun. If you'd look at it, my high school life was really boring.

"Pero buti na lang at medyo maayos na ako kung hindi, baka hindi nila ako pinayagan mag-aral sa Manila." Kung sabagay hindi rin naman kasi nila alam kung gaano ako kadalas sumpungin ng asthma ko.

"Kaya nagiging anemic ako dahil sa walanjong insomia na ito eh!" I mean, I tried everything from drinking tea before going to bed to listening to sleeping sound, classical music, sleeping podcast kaso wala talagang effect.

I don't even sleep at noon nor drink coffee but why the heck do I have insomia? It's a pain in the ass!

"Uunahan mo nanaman yung mga manok." Pagkasabi ko ay agad ko naman narinig ang pagtilaok ng mga manok. It's already 4 AM.

Dibale na nga, sa byahe nalang ako matutulog.

Today marks the day that I'll bid my farewell to my beloved hometown and journey to the big city to continue my dreams of becoming a successful nurse!

I wanted to take nursing because I wanted to challenge myself, sakitin ako but that doesn't mean I can't help other people in their sickness. Plus, my father's dream was to be a nurse and unfortunately due to their social status, he didn't finish college. That's why I'll continue his dream.

My best friend will also study Medical Technology in CEU Makati and I'd be enrolled in San Beda University so living together is really impossible kaya we decided to split to save us time and energy.

"Sayang at hindi kami magsasabay." Karamihan kasi ng gamit namin nauna sa kanya-kanya naming boarding house kaya naman magaan nalang kung magtra-travel kami ngayon, kaso hindi pa rin kami sabay.

Isang traveling bag at isang luggage lang ang dala ko where most if my important documents and things are there. Mag co-commute lang ako since alam ko naman na ang daan, ayoko na rin kasi gumastos pa para sa pag rent ng van at masyadong mahal.

"Kaya siguro hindi ako makatulog at excited na kinakabahan ako?" Maybe that's the case, since the idea of being out there and practicing independence really excites me.

Naputol ang pag mumuni-muni ko nang may narinig akong kaluskos sa labas ng kwarto, gising na siguro si mama.

Dahan-dahan akong bumangon para hindi ako mahilo, inayos ko ang higaan at sarili ko bago lumabas ng kwarto.

"Ang aga mo naman magising ate." Tinignan ko ang orasan sa tabi ko at napansin na 5 pa lang ng madaling araw.

"Excited?" Natawang tanong ni mama, agad naman akong umupo sa harap niya habang inaayos ang mga lulutuin niya.