Sid-er-eus ~ Latin
Heavenly; Starry; Star-like
Stars are holes in the universe; the light of heaven coming from the other side.
Book Two in the Solivagant Series.
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"So... what's behind tab 5?"
"Let's call it...miscellaneous."
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"You're kidding", Dean's jaw drops between either Bobby and I "You just let him go off by himself?" Unable to argue with Dean I give a meek shrug from where I'm now stood clean in the study archway, Bobby perched sheepish on the couch as Dean's stunned gaze flickers accusingly between us. Settling on me Dean crosses his arms "How could you let him El? I asked you to protect him-"
"Yeah" I cut Dean off, lowing the towel I'd been shaking through my never ending wet hair "But it's pretty difficult to protect someone who felt sick every time they looked you in the eye." Dean tilts his head but I remain adamantly silent. It makes me feel wrecked by guilt knowing that I'd been hurting Sam just by being around.
Dean watches me carefully soaking up the information we're enlightening him with "Sam couldn't stand her being around." My gaze averts to the floor and away from Dean's when Bobby adds "El was a permanent reminder of you. They ran together for a month before it became too much for the boy and he split."
Noticing Dean's gaze wander worriedly between us I roll my eyes. Stepping back down the hall I send Dean a small tilt of my head. His footsteps echoing after me I lead him back to my childhood room. Although it's no longer got Katie and I's beds inside. Honestly when I peer back and see Dean's eyes widen a fraction I don't blame him. It's overwhelming. Sure it's not iron plated like the room below my feet but it still appears rather... unhinged. Stacks of lore and notes lay sprawled over the desks I moved into here and strewn messily over the floor. Artefact's I'd hidden across the country are crammed into boxes stacked so high they almost reach my head. Curse boxes scattered through the room from the piled artefact cases to the skyscrapers of books. Stepping further into the erratic mess I linger in the doorway watching Dean's attention flickering around the erratic warding I've scribbled over my old canary bedroom walls. Markings I've come fleetingly across praying they'd be useful and not just another dead end. It's a lot to take in so when he finally glances back at me with a hung jaw I don't flinch under the scrutiny. Wandering into the room I thoughtfully gesture around "All of this is my failed attempt to bring you back. Cause if I brought you back maybe Sam would come back too. I could have my torn up family back."
