Havoc

Reflection

Flashback

Namjoon's pov

I look to my left, I see my reflection. I look to my right, I see my reflection. I see myself through my reflection, but who am I?

Who am I?

I used to think that each and each and every one of our life is just a movie, and I still do. After all once we die our movie ends, so why not make the most of it? At least that's what I want to do. But why is it so hard? I've got nothing to lose anyway, then why is it so hard to be myself, to be a boy named Kim Namjoon.

I have been molded into the Kim Namjoon society wants, no i'm not Kim Namjoon anymore, I'm just a boy who lost his dream, his opinion, his voice to the world.

The world is just another name for despair, I hate myself, I hate myself who lost to the world, I hate myself for being a lost boy, I wish, I just wish I could love myself...

Is it so wrong for me to love myself?

Am I asking for too much?

Am I being ignorant?

I want to be free! I want to be like the bird, flying without a care in the world. I'm happy, but, Im unhappy, why is my own feeling so confusing? I wish the darkness of the night could just swallow me up, after all it's easier to blend in with the others right?

"Tae-ah how can you always be happy?"

"Hmm, being happy is just a part of me as Kim Taehyung," He flashes his box smile.

"Hyung what kind of person do you wanna be as Kim Namjoon,"

I looked ahead of me, staring at the wall, "I'm not sure, tell me Tae, what kind of person am I?"

"Hyung you always ask difficult questions, but if I had to describe you, Uhh, you're a reliable person, someone I can trust. Mhh a leader! You're a leader!"

If Tae knew what kind of person I was he would never say such thing about me, how will they think of me if they knew all my insecurities?

"Hyung you might not see yourself like I do, but that's normal. You might make mistakes, but that makes you who you are today. You might just be a lost boy, with insecurities, but that doesn't change who you are to me. You are Kim Namjoon, a boy I admire "

He's right. I'm Kim Namjoon, a boy with insecurities, and lots of mistakes. But that makes who I am today.