síncєrєlч, mє (mв / s & hєαd-cαnσns)

Admin ramble part 2!

Okay, so I believe somewhere I have stated that Connor has bipolar disorder. I now feel that that is maybe not the best..diagnosis?

So I myself am doing more research into mental health and took this little test recently to see what personality disorders I might have and BPD was very high.

For those of you who don't know what that is, BPD stands for Borderline personality disorder. It is actually pretty different from bipolar disorder and can sometimes be misdiagnosed as bipolar.

The difference is that a Manic episode for Bipolar people can last DAYS. They go through days of just doing random, wild things. BPD though, the person can go from sad, to happy, to angry all in an hour.

I'm watching a video about it and some of the traits seen in BPD patients kind of line up with Connor a bit. They can be very impulsive, substance abuse is common in this impulsivity apparently. They have an intense fear of being abandoned and can get angry at people if they feel they're going to leave them.

People with BPD apparently have a higher rate of suicide attempts. This is apparently a result from that sense of abandonment. Connor clearly is not new to attempts. It's seen in the script through conversations between the Murphy's that he has tried before. The only thing iffy about this is sometimes these attempts or just harming themselves in general could be done to try and draw the person believed to be abandoning back in. It can sometimes be a cry for help where as Connor was probably actually depressed and there wasn't much shown in even the novel that could have suggested he actually did this as a cry for help.

As for emotions and all that, BPD patients act on their emotion immediately. They are hyper reactive to emotions, they don't take time to process it and think it over. Re: Connor freaking out on Evan for the letter. He gets angry and immediately acts on it, going from calm to enraged in a matter of seconds. The up and down moods also play in the relationships a person has cause the instability of their emotions might be hard to handle for people.

Angry is very very common. An intense inappropriate amount of anger to a situation. They can become verbally assaultive or physically. The snap to anger is so quick that it scares others around them; family, friends, all ages. It is so intense and so fast that you don't see it coming. They are just very hypersensitive to everything in their environment and almost always react with anger. Connor seems to have always reacted to situations with anger, not just expressed in the novel but Zoe has even mentioned times where he's tried to break down her door, screaming at her. But then they tend to feel bad after the blow up. They feel regretful and scared that people will leave them. The external anger is then directed towards themselves which can then lead to self harm.

Paranoia is also a huge symptom and if you really need an explanation of how Connor is paranoid, check the previous chapter of this book.

Now, I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist, I'm just a dumb teen who has the internet; but a lot of things just seem to tick with Connor. I'm no doctor- but learning about it cause of what I got on that test kind of sounded a lot like Connor. Now someone might not have ALL the symptoms and still have BPD. So there's probably some symptoms that don't sound too much like him. Up top is the video that I watched to learn about BPD. It's very interesting to learn about, even if you don't wanna be like, a psychologist or something like that.

Anyway, I'm gonna go back to watching dumb YouTube videos, hope you enjoyed my ramble.