End of the Road

.35

"Who's that?"

Napa ngiti ako ng makita ang naka pamulsang si Fabian sa tapat ng apartment ko. He is pointing Jose using his lips. I didn't know that a one-eighty-five centimeter tall man can be this cute.

"A friend. Ipinapakilala ko kasi sa iyo kanina panay taas lang iyang kilay mo."

"Alam ba ito ng stalker mo?"

Napa simangot ako at saka nailing. "You're  telling gibberish."

"Sa instagram effect ko lang ginagawa iyon. But who is he in your life by the way? Kapalit ba iyan ng gagong nasa Manila?"

"Walang ganun. He's just a friend. And I don't think I am ready yet to fall in love again."

Fabian sighed. There's a sudden sadness on his eyes. But hid it well by smiling. What a good actor he is.

"It's been a year. Wala ka ng balak bumalik sa Manila?" He asked while fishing his vape on his pocket.

"Ako na yata si Moana. The sea is calling me. I can't leave. And you're the second person who asked me that same question. It's getting on my nerves now. Ano bang mayroon sa Manila?"

"Maybe your happiness and real solace?" He puffed from his vape.

Naamoy ko ang flavor sa usok na nalanghap. "Stop that, you freaking smoke machine. And for your question, I simply chose to stay because peace is in here. Wala sa Manila."

"But is this the real peace you are looking for? Minsan ang totoong katahimikan ay nasa piling ng mga mahal natin at nagmamahal sa atin."

Biglang sumagi sa isipan ko ang mukha ng pagod na si Tyzer. He is always smiling whenever he is with me, kahit gaano pa ito kapagod sa trabaho ay may lakas pa din itong bigyan siya ng pansin. How is he anyway? I hope he is doing fine. Wala na akong narinig tungkol sa kaniya sa naka lipas na taon. I avoided news and magazines even my social media. I left without telling anyone. Even Mikay and Kaya didn't know where I am right now. But I am calling my parents from time to time to ensure them my safety.

"Kuntento na ako sa kung anong meron ako ngayon."

"What if the feeling is not mutual?"

Nag salubong ang kilay ko. Sa inis ay itinulak ko sa balikat si Fabian. "Get lost. Mangisda ka na lang kasama ng mga babae duon sa kabilang pampang. May mga bagong turista na dumating, baka gusto mong sila na lang ang bingwitin."

Fabian pursed his lip. "I am a changed man now. Hindi na ako kagaya ng dati na basta naka palda handa ng sunggaban."

"Kasi ngayon kahit naka shorts ayos na?"

He sheepishly smiled at her. "You're witty."

"And you're not."

"Pero naniniwala ka talaga na hindi niya alam kung nasaan ka ngayon?"

"I don't know and I don't want to care. Ang gusto ko lang ay maging masaya siya sa tamang babae. Baka hindi para sa akin iyon."

Fabian tsked and puff another blow of smoke. "You're heartless, Eros."

Naupo ako sa pang dalawahang upuan sa porch ng apartment ko at pinanuod ang pagkaka sandal ng likod ni Fabian sa pader malapit sa pintuan ko. I can see sadness in his eyes too. Pareho lang talaga kaming dalawa. Pero bakit siya parang hanggang ngayon hindi nababawasan ang sakit sa mga mata niya? I thought this place will help to heal us both. Pero parang baliktad ang nangyayari sa kaniya.

"Yes I'm heartless, because I left my heart to the the last place where I saw him." I smiled sadly upon remembering Tyzer's begging face. He is begging me to stay and not to leave him. Hindi man lang niya kinagat 'yung sinabi ko na hindi ko na siya mahal at kami na ni Jose.