What Friends Are For

Chapter Two

CHAPTER 2

"Good friends are like stars. You can't always see them, but you know they're always there." -Unknown

One recess, Jacob, Alexis and I walked around the field. It was the middle of a Canadian winter. We were chatting and laughing about old 5H memories, and the funniest kids.

Suddenly, Alexis laughed and threw herself down the hill, rolling down to the bottom. It was completely random, so Jacob and I burst out laughing. Alexis made us laugh even in the deep freeze of Canadi- an February weather.

Jacob and I rushed over to her laughing with her as Alexis stood up and brushed the snow off her kilt. It was the middle of winter, yet she still rolled down the snowy, icy hill. Alexis couldn't stop laughing.

"You're going to die doing that!" I said, giggling.

"Good," Alexis said, chuckling. "I wanted to kill myself anyways."

Jacob and I looked at each other. He gave me a look like he knew something he wasn't telling me.

Alexis was a person who could make a joke out of anything, so I didn't know if she was being serious. She seemed to be laughing, so I decided to forget about it. At least, I tried to.

I couldn't really forget it, though. I just hoped it really WAS a joke. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the noisy lunch bell.

"It's me and Alexis' day to eat in another class," said Jacob as we walked to the grade 6 doors.

"Great!" I said. "Will you come to our class?"

"I don't really have any other friends, so of course," He said, looking up at the sky.

I opened my locker and grabbed my lunch bag. I headed over to eat at my desk with Anna and Bella, when Jacob and Alexis walked in.

"ALEXIS! JACOB!" shrieked Emma. Emma was Anna, Bella, and my close friend in grades 3 and 4. We drifted apart, but we are still friends.

Emma and Alexis were pretty close.

Emma was super funny and loud, like Alexis. Emma smiles and basically throws herself across the rows of desks to wave hello to them.

Alexis and Jacob waved to Emma and sat at my desk to eat lunch.

"You guys are my best friends, right?" Alexis asks when she sits down.

"Yes," Annabelle says. "Of course we are."

"Okay, well I think it's finally time I say this. But don't tell anyone," Alexis says, lowering her voice to a whisper. "But I want to commit suicide."

This is a joke, I thought. She's just kidding. Alexis is an out-going, funny, smart girl.

Nobody speaks at first. We didn't know what to say. We opened our mouths to talk, but nothing came out. Jacob breaks the silence with a sigh.

"Sometimes after therapy, I feel like that too," He mumbles quietly.

"What?" I said, looking at Alexis and Jacob as I gulped with worry.

"I don't, though," Jacob said quickly. "I decide not to."

"Yeah, but..." I say, my voice trailing off.

It's not normal to think like that, I thought.

"Um, how about we talk about something else," Bella said nervously.

I could tell she was getting as scared as me.

"Good idea," agreed Annabelle. "So, um, how was the math quiz? Was it hard?"

What Jacob and Alexis said wouldn't leave my mind. I had a feeling that they weren't joking.

We had an assembly where we learned that if someone tells you they are going to commit suicide or hurt themselves, we have to tell a teacher. I wanted to, but they might have been joking. I didn't know what to do.

The next recess, I hung out with Jacob. We walked around the field.

"I told my teacher about Alexis wanting to commit suicide," He tells me.

That grabs my attention. Alexis and he were serious about what they said yesterday.

"Wow," I said. "I wasn't sure if she was serious or not."

"Oh, She was serious."

"You were too?"

Jacob sort of hesitates. "I think about it sometimes," He sighs finally. "But I convince myself not to. But it's kind of hard to do that, though."

Suddenly, Alexis rushes over.

"I told Izzy about the talk with Ms. N," Jacob says to Alexis, motioning to me.

"I didn't know you were serious," I said to her.

"She meant what she said," Jacob stated. "Look at her arms-- they're totally cut up!"

He reaches for her hoodie sleeve, but she pulls her arm away.

"I didn't know you cut yourself," I said quietly.

"Just up my arm where no one can see," She tells me.

That doesn't make the fact you do self harm any better, I think to myself.

Alexis looks around uncomfortably.

"Um, I've got to go," She says, turning around. She runs back down the hill.

"Is that why she has all those bruises, scrapes, and burn marks?" I ask Jacob.

"Yes and no," He says. "Some of them are from falling down. Some of them are from self harm. Some of them..." He stops talking and looks down.

"...Some of them?" I repeat.

"...Some of them are from abuse." He says quietly.