CHAPTER 5
"The most memorable people in life will be the friends that loved you when you weren't very lovable." -Unknown
That night I tossed and turned. I couldn't sleep. All I could think of was Alexis.
I thought about Alexis' mom.
And how much I hated her.
I thought about those two girls, Alia and Michelle, who started rumours about Alexis.
And how much I hated them.
I thought about the girls who punched Alexis because of the rumours.
The untrue rumours.
And how much I hated them.
Mostly, I thought about myself.
And how much I hated myself for being so blind that I didn't see Alexis' depression.
For not standing up to the people who bullied her.
In fourth grade I remember thinking that Alexis needed to chill out about her grades.
If she got lower than 100 percent, she'd cry. If anyone got a better grade than her, she'd get mad.
"She got a 99.5 on that math test," I said to Bella. "She just misspelled one word. Why is she standing in that corner crying? She got an A+."
I never understood why.
Until now.
I realized why.
Her mom.
She knew if her mom saw one of those grades less than 100 percent, she'd beat her.
She was just scared of her mom.
I remembered thinking the fights with my friends were the biggest problem that would happen to me in my childhood. Now I think back to what I thought was a big deal, and I realize they weren't a big deal.
We were just making a big deal out of something small.
Something that didn't even matter.
And I feel stupid, now. Very, very, very stupid. The recess experience opened my eyes to my stupidity, I guess. Why did I think that all those fights were a big deal? Why didn't I stand up for Alexis? Why didn't I do anything? And most importantly, how did I not see how sad she even was?
Sometimes in elementary school I'd hang out with Alexis at recess.
At that time I didn't know her very well.
And sometimes I wanted to go hang out with my other friends instead.
Because I didn't realize what an amazing fun person she was to hang out with.
And I regret that.
I thought back to kindergarten. I remember Alexis telling me every day that I was her best friend.
Her first friend.
Her only friend.
But I didn't care.
To me, she was just another kid.
It's different now. Alexis is one of my best friends.
Alexis was the girl who I would see other kids at school point to and whisper about to one another.
"She's a nerd."
"She's a loser."
"She's so unpopular."
"She has no friends."
I heard them all.
And I disagreed with everything they said.
Yet I didn't say anything.
I didn't try to stop them.
To this day I wonder why I didn't do anything to help.
To help Alexis.
I wish that everything I remember of me and Alexis I could go back and change.
Help her the times I didn't.
Listen the times I didn't.
Stand up for her the times I didn't.
Alexis was the girl that I would overhear other kids talk bad about behind her back.
I remember seeing kids nudge each other when they saw Alexis at school.
I remember kids making faces at their friends when they got paired up with her for a project.
I remember hearing kids call her "weird" and other horrible names behind her back.
I remember kids running away from her at recess, and kids laughing at her.
I remember kids making fun of her for not being like them. For being different.
But I also remember not having the courage to stand up for Alexis.
For my friend.
YOU ARE READING
What Friends Are For
Non-FictionA touching story about how these sixth graders find themselves helping their best friend from committing suicide, about friendship, about helping your friends. Izzy, Bella, Annabelle, Sofia, Jacob, Alexis and David have been best friends since grade...